Chelan spells CHAOS

Every year I go to this place and come back thinking What happens in Chelan stays in Chelan. Photos taken there should fade away into nothingness like the Polaroid photo of Michael J. Fox and his siblings in Back to the Future.

This place is a black hole. It sucked my last three days away leaving a blur of memories that are strewn across a discombobulated time line. But you know what I don't want 'em back! THAT WAS AMAZING!

I really cannot properly articulate the chaos and mix of wild characters participating in this madness. So, let's lay out the participants by grouping them.

1) My 11 roommates. BC, JP, MM, HG, JA, TM, MS, DH, KM, AW, and N-

2) Athletes: SH, RS, QP, JB, JW

3) Groupies: Unknown names or numbers

4) Random Chelangoers: Repeat groupie status

These are the people important to the stories. For the rest, sorry you didn't make the cut better luck next year.


I've been piecing the moments back together first by reason then by chronological order. I think the only way to recover this without asking everyone I saw is to write it out. So bear with me. GO NUGGETS. I hope JR SMITH doesn't get himself kicked out of the league in the off season.


Anyway,

Our room is on the grass leading out to the pool and 40 feet from the waterfront. With the beautiful weather that made our backyard party ground zero. At night we were two blocks from DTPT, downtown party time. Throw in 4000 college aged kids into this small town and you've got a mini Cancun hence the 'SENOR FROGS' two blocks from our place.

The first night I got stuck in traffic over the pass so I didn't get in until 11 30pm. I immediately threw my stuff in the room and met everyone out at the bars. Where I meet the characters and the themes begin to unfold.

SH, an athlete, is out of control orchestrating chaos. Groupies surround him and JB like flies. The groupies were as mindless as flies, too. SH is trying to get HG laid. He is HG's biggest advocate against celibacy. And to HG's credit he stayed completely loyal. SH or Satan matchmaker could not shake him. With that said we never saw the end of SH. He was coming in the room at 8am with beer in his hand banging at the glass door at 3am yelling for HG. 7 feet of madness. The last I saw of this guy he stumbled in a stupor into our room in his beater and boxers mumbling for Hans saying something about how he just got with some nameless beezee.

Back to that night. I left HG surrounded by temptation. And in the morning I woke up falling off the hydabed. It was 7am. I looked to see the covers dominated by a 6'10 frame of a man who was laying diagonally upon the bed forcing me off the edge. This was not like sleeping with Heeze who just sleeps on top you like curled up dog. I wasn't up for more than 30 minutes when SH barged in and ate all the bacon I made. Minutes later, I was handed a beer by MS & JA, the other set of roommates. The boat was pulled up to the shore. And day 1 began.

Ok. It's late. The Nuggets won game 4. And I need to get my facts straight. Maybe if I sleep on it they will work themselves out. Or maybe this is a good time for the hook allowing you to imagine the amazing things that actually happened. Trust me you should. It's probably going to be better than what actually happened.