Bukbu English Festival

A few weeks back, the school told me I will be participating as a judge and working at an English Festival on Saturday, October 17th. I was not really looking forward to sitting around on my off day at a speech contest. Luckily, it was paid work and not volunteering. Even better it turned out to be a blast. I would've done it for substantially less than they paid me (I got a free lunch, too!). But don't tell them that I would work for less!

Festivals involving ESL students and teachers has a strong inclination towards ridiculous unintentional humor. We were given a front row seat to all the students' speeches. But the day kicked off with a speech from one of the higher ups in the Incheon school district. Apparently, he makes quite a few Conglish speeches like this. Because I was clued in on his speech's conclusion routine by the seasoned native teacher next to me. 'Pay attention. He always ends his speech with 'Thank you, native teachers. I love you.'" No way, right? Sure enough he concludes with his patented phrase, 'Thrank you, native teachurs. I rove you.' That's an endearing way to end your speech. But he wouldn't be the last awesomely feminine speaker.

A few of the speeches were even a little controversial like the 'Sexual Abuse in our Society.' Even though I did garner an immature giggle from that speech. And I quote, 'Sexual abuse occurs in animals, too. It is even felt by big elephants, and into the small flies.' Not the speech you wanted to laugh at. Now, most of the girls speeches were essentially about how they were going to rule the world one day. A few, like my student Su Yeon, wrote about becoming translators. But it wasn't a girl who had the most shockingly feminine speech. It was a guy.

It was during one of the final speeches in the contest (#27 of 30) and the boy up on stage is putting me to sleep with his monotone voice. His speech 'Things I Would Like to Change' was lulling us all into a deep morning glaze. He's talking about how he wants to be a singer. Cool kid. Great. Whatever. He wonders what it's like to be a Korean woman. He talks about how he thinks that being a Korean woman instead of a Korean man forced into the army must help them train their voices for singing. A sentence or two more about the advantages of being a Korean woman. Then he comes out on stage, 'Overall, I think becoming a woman would be really a excitiing experience for me.' .....WAIT?! WHAT?! What did he just say?! All the native teachers look at each other in disbelief. Everyone check the speech packet. 'Things I Would Like to Change'.... my gender. This boy basically just came out of the closet in front of our very eyes. It was his 'COMING OUT DAY' (more on this later). This boy has got kahunas. If he ever goes through with the operation they are going to need a swimming pool to store those in. I give him a lot of respect for having the courage to say something like that in front of everyone. Here's to you kid.

My student Su Yeon didn't have a controversial speech like him. She didn't win any awards. But I am very proud of her. She had the courage to stand up on stage and recite her memorized speech in front of 200 people. She was really nervous. I gave her some encouragement before and after. She stole a couple hugs and called me 'her man.' Luckily, 25 of my students showed up to watch and support her. A pretty good turn out. Anyway, she really impresses me. Her English speaking pronunciation and writing ability are very impressive. It doesn't come naturally either. She is very studious.

 After the speeches concluded she showed me a number of pictures of her at the English camp displayed on poster boards. She won the 'Best Overall' award at the camp over the summer. Confirmed by the native teacher who gave me the lowdown on the 'I love you' speech. He knew her by name. So, it's not like my teaching and coaching helped any. I just wish I had done something like this before so I could have been more help on the topic of choice. Speeches and debates aren't mine thing. Unless I am making an improptu cheers or talking myself out of trouble. Or into it....


After lunch I ended up working a Speed Time booth with one of my co-teacher and another native teacher and his co-teacher. Out of pure luck I scored an awesome booth. The line for our booth was huge. Kids wanted to do it twice. The game was simply 'Taboo'. You have a ring with laminated English words attached and you have to describe the words to the other person. You 60 seconds and getting a certain number right gets you money to buy candy. It was an absolutely riot. The words that were in there were usually tame. But then there were ones like 'BEER' 'WHISKEY' 'RUCKSACK'. How are they suppose to know that! And the kids who know beer and whiskey need to be monitored more closely!!! Let me set up a just a few of the scenarios:

First, you have the kid who looks at a word and thinks aloud, 'AW SHIT!'

Next, the girl comes to the word milk. 'It's drink!' She makes an arm motion touching both arms then motions like she is drinking. Then points to her bicep as she flexes. The girl guesses 'drunk!'

'No! A Drink!'

'Beer!'

'No!'

'Whiskey'

'Nooooo~! White.'

'Soju!'

'No! White!'

'makegoli'

'No! White from cow!'

'Oooohhhh. Milk!'
The entire time we are all dying. How could this girl know all this!? You could hear us laughing up and down the tents.

Let me end on this one.

These two boys have been struggling to get one word the entire round. The speaker is passing everything. And the ones he tries the other boy can't answer. Finally, he stops on one, beach. Gives it a quick thought. 'OH! SON OF.......'

Without any hesitation, 'BEETCH!'



Notes:

Recently, someone I know celebrated his 'Coming Out Day.' What do you get someone for that? I mean, do you get them a gift like it's Christmas or your birthday? Where does it fall in the line of personal holidays? Do you give them a well wishing phone call like, 'I hope all is well. I hope you're not hiding anymore secrets that could land you more attention.' Maybe you're suppose to get fireworks to celebrate and blow things up. Or have a scavenger hunt and hide everything in closets. Or make like its the holidays and just send him a fruit cake. Apparently, whatever it is I should probably send a card to that boy who came out Saturday, October 17th, 2009. Mark your calendars for that one boys and girls.