She's a MILF and you're a Cougar

When I walked into the office today, I really thought it was going to be one of those long, tiring days. I had only gotten a few hours of sleep thanks to some god awful singing taking place in the Bupyeong market area somewhere last night. On top of that I had six 45-minute classes, today. Luckily, my students came prepared to pick me up with quite a few laughs to bring me out of my zombie-like state.

Jeopardy is the name of the review game. And I have been letting the students make their own group names. Most of them are pretty cute and non-suggestive like 'Pretty Princesses,' the letter A, Apple, Pig, Big Bang. But some of them are downright noteworthy Conglish Classics. Like 'Diarrhea.' I shit you not (my first curse!) they wanted to be called poop. Then they thought about it more and checked with the co-teacher to reform their name into what they were grotesquely trying to express, 'diarrhea.' The co-teacher seemed fine with it. So, I just ran with it.

I kind of enjoyed it. I made a couple poop jokes whenever I called their group like 'Team diarrhea, stop running your mouth and make your pick.' or 'Hey! Diarrhea! Don't spread yourself everywhere just make a solid choice.' But no one got any of the puns. Probably for the better. Good thing that wasn't a popular team name choice.

As it turns out the most popular team name is my name, Justin. There had been various uses of it. But one class got creative. One group made their name 'Justin' first. Then the next team said they wanted to be 'I Love Justin.' And the third team wanted to be 'Justin Forever.' The first team was outraged and wanted a 'changee' to 'Original Justin.' I tried to explain that I was the original Justin. That was unimportant to them. So, out of the 6 teams there was Yellow Duck, Original Justin, Justin Forever, I Love Justin, 2AM and 2PM. I can't buy love like this in the states.

When the game actually starts, it gets even more competitive. And occasionally words slip out by accident. The first 3rd (8-9th U.S.) grade class I had today really got into the Jeopardy review. At one point, one team was accusing another of cheating. I asked the team under attack if they were in fact cheating and this is the response I got from one girl, 'No, no, Teacher. They are just fucking.'

'What?!' My eyes are like saucers in my sockets. 'What did you say?' This little 14 year old girl with a cute, innocent face and braces just dropped an F-Bomb in my class. Of course, I'm not scolding her. I'm laughing hysterically. I'm trying to hide my big grin behind my paper questionnaire.

'No, no, teacher, I didn't.' She is covering her mouth in shock. The students around her are laughing. The rest of the class is laughing at me because at this point I'm hitting my leg in laughter (great example I am). And my co-teacher is just rolling with the punches. I say, better to laugh than to scold. Then every student would know how bad it really was. Plus, it was simply a riot.


On the other end of the Korean school conversation scale I had quite an interesting conversation at lunch, today, about the difference between Cougars and MILFs. At lunch in the teacher's cafeteria room I am eating with my 3 main co-teachers. We are talking about how old Ms. Yoo's car is. And I crack a joke about how she might want to consider going out looking for a younger one and maybe not just a car. Ms. Yoo then drops a super word bomb, the word Cougar. I almost dropped the food right out of my mouth. Mi Sun sees me and she starts laughing, 'Are you going to be alright?'

'Yeah, I'm fine. What did you just say? You know what a cougar is?!'

'Yes, why wouldn't we?'

I'm thinking how did the term make it all the way over here already?!
'So, what does it mean to you?'

'An older woman who goes out looking for younger men.' DING!

Or as the urban dictionary defines it:

• An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc.

'Wow.' Still covering my laugh to keep food from spewing. 'So....um....do you know what a MILF is then?'

All three of them, 'No. What's that?'

'Um....let me spell it out this way. Mom I would Like to F....'

'F?'

'You know, F. Like F you.'

'Ohhhh.'

Ms. Yoo needs it spelled out for her. 'Ms. Yoo, it's a four letter word. The first letter is F, the last is K. There's a U and a C that fall in there somewhere.' Thank god the other teachers don't know enough English to spell.

'So, what's the difference between a cougar and a MILF?'

'Well, a MILF is a mother and often times married.' I'm treading in dangerous waters here with my co-teachers. Tread lightly. 'And a cougar is an older, single woman looking for younger men.'

Ms Yoo--- 'Oh, so, Mi Sun and Michelle you're MILFuhs. I don't have any kids. So, I could be a cougar but not a MILF?'

Me --- 'Correct. But Mi Sun could be a cougar, too, if she wasn't married.'

Ms Yoo 'Ah, I see....... Thank you.'

I emailed all these urban dictionary definitions to Ms Yoo after lunch. I can't wait until she starts using the Urban Dictionary.


NOTES: 

• I am beginning to see who are the funniest kids in my classes. A rare few of them even pick up on my passing insults and jokes.

• I can tell the future.

Upcoming:

I'm cooking dinner for the co-teachers at my apartment this week. Hilarity should ensue.


Past:

Read the past 4 posts.

You have 5 more days to vote on my new hairdo.