46
I have almost finished my Winter camps. It's back to classes starting Thursday. But I will have a one week 'Spring Break' shortly after school resumes. I'm a little disappointed that I am only going to have my 1st graders for three days of camp instead of five. They enjoy my classes the most out of any of the grades. If they only knew the truth. But this blind love for the white guy is something I am never going to get in the U.S.
The attention I get here is off the charts. Si Khoa kept reiterating it last night, 'You know that, when you go back to the states, you will never receive the kind of treatment you receive here.' He's right. I'm a rock star here. I wouldn't say that when I walk down the street I need to put on my shades and hide my face. Rose petals aren't laid at my feet like Jabbi Jaffar from 'Coming to America.' But I do get blatantly stared at whenever I ride the subway. No, it's not because my nose is the size of George Washington's nose on Mt. Rushmore. Well, at least not all the time. I receive a lot of undue attention.
This type of attention I will never receive when I am home because I don't stand out. In a good way that is. You know I like to cause scenes every once in a while for the fun of it. Especially around you Mom. I love to embarrass you. I do it because I care, Mom. This is why she won't take my brother and me out in public. Back to the point, I will never receive attention like this from students, women, or anyone for that matter. I need to soak this up while I can.
Here's the plan: OPERATION LIKE A SPONGE
Step 1
Drink less booze.
I know this is unorthodox but I need all my faculties to pull off a dangerous maneuver like this.
Step 2
Make lesson plans ridiculously fun. Elicit funny responses. Example, 'Teacher, they just fucking....' errr.....maybe overboard for eliciting that response. Let's aim for, 'Teacher, mummy sexy, sexy.'
Step 3
Anytime a Korean invites you to their home ACCEPT IT. Turning down free food is pretty much a sin. So is not experiencing all that the culture has to offer.
Step 4
Marry a Korean woman.
...Wait. What? No step 4.
Step 4 revised
Date a Korean girl
Step 5
Learn Korean.
I know what you're thinking, shouldn't you learn Korean before you date a Korean? Then I would miss out on the wonderful miscommunications between us.
Step 6
Break up with old Korean girlfriend and start dating new Korean girlfriend.
The miscommunications got our relationship off on the wrong foot. I couldn't correct it from there.
Step 7
Just keep livin' the dream. Not much of a step. Just a great way to keep livin'.
Step 8
Soak it all in like a sponge. Then pass judgment upon Korean living vs. American living. (I can already tell you that you cannot compare cultures on a judgmental level)
It seems like a pretty flawed plan, no? Especially steps 4 through 6. They way I see it 'the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.' Instead lower your expectations and make a crazy plan SO crazy that it just might work.
Chances of working.......5%.
High risk, high reward type of plan.
Don't worry, Mom. I'll send you a picture home of my Korean wife and kids soon enough!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
ROK #5
There are a number of things that I could place on here. Alas, I don't feel they are up to snuff.....yet. I mean they do love their fair height pale faces over here. I get a lot of free lunches. Today was no exception (Vietnamese-Korean homemade).
At the same time there are a lot of bad things that I haven't posted because I haven't fully experienced them. For example, the 'Yellow Dust.' I know the name inspires some sort of innuendo in your mind. I assure you it's not the dust that gives you the 'Yellow Fever.' But my lungs will experience all it's annoyance come April.
So, what is the fifth best thing about Korea? I'll give you a hint. Ignorance is bliss.
It's not having to listen to other people's obnoxious conversations because you can't understand them. When you are on the bus, you know that guy who is having an obnoxiously loud conversation about politics or religion? You can't understand him or her.
'This Healthcare reform is a great idea. How can you be against it?!' They have no idea what they are talking about. Then they confirm it, 'The reason why it's a terrible idea is because Obama hates babies.' .....
or
'The Lord made Eve directly from Adam's rib!' Then a religious crusade ensues over the literal versus figurative meaning of the passage. And it ends with, 'You never go to church! How would you know about the book of Genesis!?'
The great part is you don't understand a word comin' out of tair mouf. Better yet he or she won't pass you the pamphlet that she is holding because you are a foreigner. I've seen these situations go down not just in America. I was privy to one of these joyous occasions two months back.
We were riding the subway back from Seoul one evening. When we boarded the train a group of ajumas were sitting in the Ajuma/Handicap reserved area. One held an ornate Bible with green embroidery. The other was holding pamphlets. It was the looks on their faces and the faces of all those around on the subway car that made the situation evident to us. They were sternly speaking at each other with grave faces. The rest of the train sat there annoyed. They were either staring at them like, 'This is not the place for this conversation!' or they were staring into blank space trying but failing to ignore the conversation. My foreign friends and I were standing in the aisle with smiles on our faces. We were relaxed. There was not a worry on our mind as the one Ajuma went back with the other. We looked around and discussed openly what was going on in the car. All the while we were smiling that blissful ignorance of not being dragged into this awkward situation by shared space and language. Maybe this is what makes Korea so often relaxing.....
At the same time there are a lot of bad things that I haven't posted because I haven't fully experienced them. For example, the 'Yellow Dust.' I know the name inspires some sort of innuendo in your mind. I assure you it's not the dust that gives you the 'Yellow Fever.' But my lungs will experience all it's annoyance come April.
So, what is the fifth best thing about Korea? I'll give you a hint. Ignorance is bliss.
It's not having to listen to other people's obnoxious conversations because you can't understand them. When you are on the bus, you know that guy who is having an obnoxiously loud conversation about politics or religion? You can't understand him or her.
'This Healthcare reform is a great idea. How can you be against it?!' They have no idea what they are talking about. Then they confirm it, 'The reason why it's a terrible idea is because Obama hates babies.' .....
or
'The Lord made Eve directly from Adam's rib!' Then a religious crusade ensues over the literal versus figurative meaning of the passage. And it ends with, 'You never go to church! How would you know about the book of Genesis!?'
The great part is you don't understand a word comin' out of tair mouf. Better yet he or she won't pass you the pamphlet that she is holding because you are a foreigner. I've seen these situations go down not just in America. I was privy to one of these joyous occasions two months back.
We were riding the subway back from Seoul one evening. When we boarded the train a group of ajumas were sitting in the Ajuma/Handicap reserved area. One held an ornate Bible with green embroidery. The other was holding pamphlets. It was the looks on their faces and the faces of all those around on the subway car that made the situation evident to us. They were sternly speaking at each other with grave faces. The rest of the train sat there annoyed. They were either staring at them like, 'This is not the place for this conversation!' or they were staring into blank space trying but failing to ignore the conversation. My foreign friends and I were standing in the aisle with smiles on our faces. We were relaxed. There was not a worry on our mind as the one Ajuma went back with the other. We looked around and discussed openly what was going on in the car. All the while we were smiling that blissful ignorance of not being dragged into this awkward situation by shared space and language. Maybe this is what makes Korea so often relaxing.....
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
ROK #4
This one was a toss up. I couldn't decide which one to include in the top 5. So, I decided to include them both.
The combo of short skirts and 25 cent wing night. They both drive a man wild!
Wings night in Itaewon, the foreigner's district, at the RMT makes me salvate at the mere thought of it. When Tuesday rolls around my body gets the itch. For ~25 cents a wing I can afford to scratch that itch! Especially when that flavorful meat falls off the bone like butter. Too bad the beer sucks. But cheap beer and wings do pair well together! You can't give up too much space in your stomach when you are consuming 30-35 wings.
When I woke up this morning I still reek of hot sauce and hot wings. And I feel like my bowels are going to acidically disintegrate from this terribly unhealthy meal. It's soooooo worth it. It sooths my taste buds and my soul. It's soul food for me.
But let me be honest right now. The recency of wings night has me overly smitten with it. It's unfair for me to place it on par with short skirts. I love my wings. Sadly, they aren't a true Korean thing. And short skirts here are out of control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girls here wear short skirts rain, sun or snow. It's flat out shocking at times. When I walk past them I shake my head and say aloud, 'How can you wear that...?' On the day it snowed 7 inches Korean women were still rocking short skirts with tights on. They have decently good reason to do it.... or so I'd like to think.
It's a fiercely competitive market for a man here. You gotta find a good man! What do you do when you aren't top side heavy (like a 34B in Korea)? You need to show off those legs in a mini skirt! When it was 25 degrees fareinheit, I saw girls in a short skirt, leggings not tights and high heels! Now, that's dedication. She's gotta find that man!
Talk about eye candy, too! Looking down at the ground has never been so rewarding! ....except for the time I found 100 dollars at Disneyworld. That was pretty rewarding.... I wish I could take photos to show you. Unfortunately, I can only offer you the words expressing my mental images. If the big, white guy in a red North Face jacket walks around snapping photos finding that pervert won't be too difficult.
For some people like Drake, the Korean who isn't into Koreans or Asians for that matter, the short skirts really aren't appeasing to them. I can't blame them. I miss American women of all types. But the mini skirts are out of control here. It's REdiculous to steal a Robin Gow phrase. You can't deny that.
The combo of short skirts and 25 cent wing night. They both drive a man wild!
Wings night in Itaewon, the foreigner's district, at the RMT makes me salvate at the mere thought of it. When Tuesday rolls around my body gets the itch. For ~25 cents a wing I can afford to scratch that itch! Especially when that flavorful meat falls off the bone like butter. Too bad the beer sucks. But cheap beer and wings do pair well together! You can't give up too much space in your stomach when you are consuming 30-35 wings.
When I woke up this morning I still reek of hot sauce and hot wings. And I feel like my bowels are going to acidically disintegrate from this terribly unhealthy meal. It's soooooo worth it. It sooths my taste buds and my soul. It's soul food for me.
But let me be honest right now. The recency of wings night has me overly smitten with it. It's unfair for me to place it on par with short skirts. I love my wings. Sadly, they aren't a true Korean thing. And short skirts here are out of control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girls here wear short skirts rain, sun or snow. It's flat out shocking at times. When I walk past them I shake my head and say aloud, 'How can you wear that...?' On the day it snowed 7 inches Korean women were still rocking short skirts with tights on. They have decently good reason to do it.... or so I'd like to think.
It's a fiercely competitive market for a man here. You gotta find a good man! What do you do when you aren't top side heavy (like a 34B in Korea)? You need to show off those legs in a mini skirt! When it was 25 degrees fareinheit, I saw girls in a short skirt, leggings not tights and high heels! Now, that's dedication. She's gotta find that man!
Talk about eye candy, too! Looking down at the ground has never been so rewarding! ....except for the time I found 100 dollars at Disneyworld. That was pretty rewarding.... I wish I could take photos to show you. Unfortunately, I can only offer you the words expressing my mental images. If the big, white guy in a red North Face jacket walks around snapping photos finding that pervert won't be too difficult.
For some people like Drake, the Korean who isn't into Koreans or Asians for that matter, the short skirts really aren't appeasing to them. I can't blame them. I miss American women of all types. But the mini skirts are out of control here. It's REdiculous to steal a Robin Gow phrase. You can't deny that.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I'll update my ROK #4 Tomorrow Afternoon
I will continue my TOP 5 ROK tomorrow. It's Tuesday. so you know what that means! It's wing night! Only one thing can dominate my consciousness....WINGS!!!!! Seriously, I crave them.
Until tomorrow! I bid you adieu!
Until tomorrow! I bid you adieu!
Communication ERROR 101rokHTTP FAIL
I'm back! I was finally able to track down the English number for KT ALLEH, my internet provider. It was all HELLA backwards. My co-teacher was not the greatest help during all of this. She gave me the Korean telephone number. You know what it was? 100. 1-0-0. When she told me what it was I didn't believe her.
'I called 100 KT ALLEH.'
'You what? How do I call them?'
'100.'
'One hundred what? No, what number do I dial to call them?'
'Oh, 100.'
It was like the 'Who's on stage' joke.
The Korean number wasn't much of a help. I couldn't push enough random buttons to get me to a representative. Then I might have been able to ask them in Korean if they spoke English.
I had to track down their number via their investment website. After 5 minutes of talking with the rep, I finally paid my 3 month delinquent bill, reset my internet service, and set up automatic payments from my account. It only took me 5 days to do it. ....
You know what would've helped me throughout this situation? ...Knowing Korean. Yeah.
It's a really good thing that they do have English services like this available. If you are in need of calling your internet or phone provider to settle a bill or to find a bus to go somewhere, there is an English service for that. Too bad there isn't an all encompassing APP for that. Many of the signs are in English. And if you can read Korean Characters then you can understand certain 'Conglish' words like internet, computer, carpet, even your own name, etc. Unfortunately, sometimes the English services lead you astray. They might tell you the bus is on the wrong side of the street. Nonetheless, these services are available all over Korea. Koreans do have a commitment to learn English.
The most important things is this: I HAVE INTERNET AGAIN! And to answer my friend Matthew Migliore's question, 'What would you do if you didn't have internet for one whole day?' I wrote two stories, slept for 10 hours, taught a group of 2nd graders, cleaned my apartment and cooked dinner for two days. I think that speaks for itself.
'I called 100 KT ALLEH.'
'You what? How do I call them?'
'100.'
'One hundred what? No, what number do I dial to call them?'
'Oh, 100.'
It was like the 'Who's on stage' joke.
The Korean number wasn't much of a help. I couldn't push enough random buttons to get me to a representative. Then I might have been able to ask them in Korean if they spoke English.
I had to track down their number via their investment website. After 5 minutes of talking with the rep, I finally paid my 3 month delinquent bill, reset my internet service, and set up automatic payments from my account. It only took me 5 days to do it. ....
You know what would've helped me throughout this situation? ...Knowing Korean. Yeah.
It's a really good thing that they do have English services like this available. If you are in need of calling your internet or phone provider to settle a bill or to find a bus to go somewhere, there is an English service for that. Too bad there isn't an all encompassing APP for that. Many of the signs are in English. And if you can read Korean Characters then you can understand certain 'Conglish' words like internet, computer, carpet, even your own name, etc. Unfortunately, sometimes the English services lead you astray. They might tell you the bus is on the wrong side of the street. Nonetheless, these services are available all over Korea. Koreans do have a commitment to learn English.
The most important things is this: I HAVE INTERNET AGAIN! And to answer my friend Matthew Migliore's question, 'What would you do if you didn't have internet for one whole day?' I wrote two stories, slept for 10 hours, taught a group of 2nd graders, cleaned my apartment and cooked dinner for two days. I think that speaks for itself.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Best of #4......an unfortunate interruption
Between now and my last post my internet cut out. I am back to borrowing internet until later this week. I think the automatic payment I set up for the internet with the help of my co-teacher stopped payment. Now, I am 3 months behind on my bills for unknown reasons. I can't read the Korean billing information on my statement. But the numbers indicate I have missed three months payment. Hopefully, I can resolve this tomorrow, Monday.
I finished my first week of camp last week. It went fairly smoothly. No major disasters. Just a few minor spelling mistakes and an electronic outlet issue. Time for week 2, grade 2.
Best of ROK will continue next week...... for now enjoy the video of the month.
http://www.elmodoesit.com/2010/01/22/you-gold-diggers-is-never-gonna-get-my-money/
WHOOOOOODI WHOOOOOOOO
Your picture of the week:
I finished my first week of camp last week. It went fairly smoothly. No major disasters. Just a few minor spelling mistakes and an electronic outlet issue. Time for week 2, grade 2.
Best of ROK will continue next week...... for now enjoy the video of the month.
http://www.elmodoesit.com/2010/01/22/you-gold-diggers-is-never-gonna-get-my-money/
WHOOOOOODI WHOOOOOOOO
Cuban
On a more serious note here is a book review for my book of the month (probably more like year since I only read one or two books a year):
The book is called : Nothing to Envy. It's about the lives and escapes of North Korean defectors. The only question is where in Korea can I buy an English copy????
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/books/2010845891_br24korea.html?cmpid=2628
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
the BEST ROK: NUMBER 3
SERVIC-UH.
No tipping. Better service. Free food. What could be better?
If you try to tip in Korea, it is more likely that the worker will run you down to return your money than to accept it. It's disrespectful to tip here (unless you are in a foreigners bar). If you tip them it's the equivalent of telling them, 'Hey! You're gonna need this money when you are out of a job soon.'
You're thinking the service might suffer, right? No. In fact it's even better. They are always on point with everything. And the roughly translated Korean word for 'here,' 'yogeeyeo' is not only acceptable to yell out but it's expected whenever you are trying to order. 'HEY, OVER HERE PLEASE!'
What do they do if they appreciate your business and attitude and foreign status? They give you free food and drinks. THIS is what I call love. And in love the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Bill Cosby, you were so right. I love that JELLO swirl, too.What is the word for free stuff? 'SERVICE-UH.' They will bring you free food and repeat that beautiful word 'SER-VIC-UH.' When I hear that word my world slows down to fluttering heartbeats. It's astounding how much you get for how little you pay sometimes.
I know everyone has a spot where they get hooked up. For example, Romio's. I love that place. I love that staff. And they all of us from the basketball/drinking team formerly known as Prestige Worldwide now aptly renamed Eastlake Romio's. They hook us up every Thursday. Sometimes Wednesdays, too. But you rarely find a place with that level of service. Here it seems like we find a new 'spot' every week.
The worst part about this is when I return to the United States. I am going to have to tip again when the service is no where near the bar Koreans have set for me. This isn't to say I haven't had sub par service here. I have. But it happens so rarely as compared to America. I already know that I am going to forget to tip once or twice out of habit. But Korea has set the bar so high that American servers are gonna have to earn it.
WOOOO SERVICE!
NOTES:
Go back to the TOP TEN KRAZIEST THINGS ABOUT KOREA and check out the comment by Anon #2. That is either one incredible joke or one interesting uhoh for me.
No tipping. Better service. Free food. What could be better?
If you try to tip in Korea, it is more likely that the worker will run you down to return your money than to accept it. It's disrespectful to tip here (unless you are in a foreigners bar). If you tip them it's the equivalent of telling them, 'Hey! You're gonna need this money when you are out of a job soon.'
You're thinking the service might suffer, right? No. In fact it's even better. They are always on point with everything. And the roughly translated Korean word for 'here,' 'yogeeyeo' is not only acceptable to yell out but it's expected whenever you are trying to order. 'HEY, OVER HERE PLEASE!'
What do they do if they appreciate your business and attitude and foreign status? They give you free food and drinks. THIS is what I call love. And in love the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Bill Cosby, you were so right. I love that JELLO swirl, too.What is the word for free stuff? 'SERVICE-UH.' They will bring you free food and repeat that beautiful word 'SER-VIC-UH.' When I hear that word my world slows down to fluttering heartbeats. It's astounding how much you get for how little you pay sometimes.
I know everyone has a spot where they get hooked up. For example, Romio's. I love that place. I love that staff. And they all of us from the basketball/drinking team formerly known as Prestige Worldwide now aptly renamed Eastlake Romio's. They hook us up every Thursday. Sometimes Wednesdays, too. But you rarely find a place with that level of service. Here it seems like we find a new 'spot' every week.
The worst part about this is when I return to the United States. I am going to have to tip again when the service is no where near the bar Koreans have set for me. This isn't to say I haven't had sub par service here. I have. But it happens so rarely as compared to America. I already know that I am going to forget to tip once or twice out of habit. But Korea has set the bar so high that American servers are gonna have to earn it.
WOOOO SERVICE!
NOTES:
Go back to the TOP TEN KRAZIEST THINGS ABOUT KOREA and check out the comment by Anon #2. That is either one incredible joke or one interesting uhoh for me.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Best things about Korea Day 2
As Matt B and Bob like to joke, 'Let me guess what you're having for dinner....Are you having chicken strips or corn dogs?' More often than not I would answer, both. Matt B joked that I would come back just because they don't have fried chicken in Korea. Honestly, I feared that I would miss such things while I was overseas. I even took pictures of the food I would miss like they were apart of a family portrait. Little did I know that next to the Deep South, no one loves their fried chicken more than the Dirty South Korea. You can't go a block without walking past a chicken and beer (HOF) joint. I couldn't have fathomed that before I left. How could I? I was under the impression that I would miss fried chicken like a crack addict misses the rock. Little did I know that 'rock' would be all over the ROK. (Oooo~ bad pun? c'mon it's kind of clever right?) I went out of my way to go to Popeye's before I left. And here I am living above a Popeye's. Truly, I am a blessed individual. ...Now, what about those corn dogs?
If you think fried chicken is everywhere, then corn dogs are the very air we breathe. Street vendors line the streets and surround every corner. And what does almost every street vendor sell? 'Hand dogs.' They aren't corn dogs. They lack that true corn bread and starch batter. And often they are too dry or cold. But man, oh man. You know that won't stop me from getting one on a late night trip.
But let's be honest here. These hand dogs aren't true corn dogs. And this fried chicken ain't no Ezell's. I would trade one of my Korean student for some Ezell's rolls and chicken strips in a heartbeat. I would most certainly trade them for some Wendy's chicken crack nuggets. I'M ITCHIN' FOR THAT! I NEEDS MY FIX!
'Do you need an immigrant laborer at your Wendy's? I gots that. She's young, too. Primed to work fer years to come! Just gimme dem nuggets!'
But Korea has been a good substitute. I most certainly do not see myself losing weight. Last I checked I was 94kg (207lbs). I'll shed those in the summer. This is just winter weight not chicken weight, right?....
P.S. Tonight's hand dog was amazing....ugh.... that took effort to stop eating!
If you think fried chicken is everywhere, then corn dogs are the very air we breathe. Street vendors line the streets and surround every corner. And what does almost every street vendor sell? 'Hand dogs.' They aren't corn dogs. They lack that true corn bread and starch batter. And often they are too dry or cold. But man, oh man. You know that won't stop me from getting one on a late night trip.
But let's be honest here. These hand dogs aren't true corn dogs. And this fried chicken ain't no Ezell's. I would trade one of my Korean student for some Ezell's rolls and chicken strips in a heartbeat. I would most certainly trade them for some Wendy's chicken crack nuggets. I'M ITCHIN' FOR THAT! I NEEDS MY FIX!
'Do you need an immigrant laborer at your Wendy's? I gots that. She's young, too. Primed to work fer years to come! Just gimme dem nuggets!'
But Korea has been a good substitute. I most certainly do not see myself losing weight. Last I checked I was 94kg (207lbs). I'll shed those in the summer. This is just winter weight not chicken weight, right?....
P.S. Tonight's hand dog was amazing....ugh.... that took effort to stop eating!
Monday, January 18, 2010
'MY BEST THINGS ABOUT KOREA' WEEK
Day 1
No one ever knows what I am saying. Now, this could be viewed as a bad thing. What if I needed help? But it's just as awesome as it is terrible. You cannot say the things in America that we say in public here. All you need to do is hear one of our conversations on the subway. 'That lady over there doesn't even know what her shirt says. Hey! Hi, lady. You over there. You don't have a clue what I'm saying. But your shirt says, 'FUCK ME.' How could I even explain it to her? It might as well read, 'Cum Dumpster.'" (that's for you Tara. Best future Korean clothing line 'Cum Dumpster' T's)
Or Corey in the elevator,
'Damn. Check out this girl, Justin. She is gorgeous. You are gorgeous. Oh, the things I would do to you. Mmm.' Talking at the girl like she is a can of Cambpell's soup. 'Mmm mmm good.'
I know that one day in the near future that it will all backfire. And I can't wait for that day. 'Uh, excuse me. I know what you are saying.' Oh.....
Some of the things that are said I cannot afford to share with you. I can assure you that I am worried for my public decency when I return home.
No one ever knows what I am saying. Now, this could be viewed as a bad thing. What if I needed help? But it's just as awesome as it is terrible. You cannot say the things in America that we say in public here. All you need to do is hear one of our conversations on the subway. 'That lady over there doesn't even know what her shirt says. Hey! Hi, lady. You over there. You don't have a clue what I'm saying. But your shirt says, 'FUCK ME.' How could I even explain it to her? It might as well read, 'Cum Dumpster.'" (that's for you Tara. Best future Korean clothing line 'Cum Dumpster' T's)
Or Corey in the elevator,
'Damn. Check out this girl, Justin. She is gorgeous. You are gorgeous. Oh, the things I would do to you. Mmm.' Talking at the girl like she is a can of Cambpell's soup. 'Mmm mmm good.'
I know that one day in the near future that it will all backfire. And I can't wait for that day. 'Uh, excuse me. I know what you are saying.' Oh.....
Some of the things that are said I cannot afford to share with you. I can assure you that I am worried for my public decency when I return home.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Top Ten Kraziest Things About Korea.....so far
10. If there are two doors in a stairwell people going both directions only go through one door. One door! If I open the other door they look at me like I'm crazy.
9. If a Korean and his or her friend go to the store they get one plastic bag to carry the goods. Each of them grabs a handle of the bag and carries the bag between them. It looks like they are carrying their love child. Just if they started skipping and whistling. Honestly, it's a pretty good idea. You lessen the load. But I would never catch an American man doing this. Ever.
8. Koreans don't walk on one side of the sidewalk. Nor do they drive in one lane. You would think they might walk on the right side or the left side only. Unfortunately, they walk wherever they feel like. This only makes number 8 worse.
7. KOREANS STOP WITHOUT PROVOCATION. I will be walking behind someone in the middle of the walkway. THEN without any notice the Korean will just HALT. 'Oh, I want to check my phone.' STOP!
6. AJUMAS got mad swagger. They own the crowded sidewalk. If you are standing on the subway, then you are very likely to catch an elbow dead in the back from an ajuma making her way through the crowd. If you are shopping the ajumas will cut in front of you, race past you, grab your cart to leverage themselves so that they can pass. Ladies first.
5. Conglish. You will be looking for something in a store. But you don't know the name for it. So, you make hand motions and try the little Korean that you know. You need bug spray. 'Umm......bug......(then you make the can shake and spray hand motion with a 'shhhhh' sound effect.'
'Oh, BUG-uh Spray!' .......It can be that easy.
'Carpet? Isoyo carpet?'
'Molayo'
'Carpet....'
I looked to my co-teacher for help.
'Carpet-uh.'
'OHHHHHH!'
You've got to be kidding me.
4. Fan death. I still can't believe how widely believed it is. Shocking.
4. The constant staring. This is a personal thing for me. I catch a lot of people staring at me. Most likely it's because I'm a whitey and they want to wear my skin like a suit.
4a. I have to have a tie here. Another thing that is a personal experience for me is that I have trouble breathing at certain times. I get choked up a little out in the city or when I am running up the stairs in the subway. I struggle to take the deep breaths I need. Maybe fan death is real........Or the air quality in Incheon makes my frail, spoiled Seattle lungs weak.
2. There is no heat in your hallways or bathrooms or most gyms. Let's just say they don't like to waste heat. If you freeze to death, your body will make a magnificent sacrifice.....
1. The most amazing thing to me is BLACK OUT KOREA. Business men go out after work and get black out drunk. Within TWO hours they are belligerent. They are falling everywhere. They need the buddy system. If you don't have a buddy, then this might happen to you....
9. If a Korean and his or her friend go to the store they get one plastic bag to carry the goods. Each of them grabs a handle of the bag and carries the bag between them. It looks like they are carrying their love child. Just if they started skipping and whistling. Honestly, it's a pretty good idea. You lessen the load. But I would never catch an American man doing this. Ever.
8. Koreans don't walk on one side of the sidewalk. Nor do they drive in one lane. You would think they might walk on the right side or the left side only. Unfortunately, they walk wherever they feel like. This only makes number 8 worse.
7. KOREANS STOP WITHOUT PROVOCATION. I will be walking behind someone in the middle of the walkway. THEN without any notice the Korean will just HALT. 'Oh, I want to check my phone.' STOP!
6. AJUMAS got mad swagger. They own the crowded sidewalk. If you are standing on the subway, then you are very likely to catch an elbow dead in the back from an ajuma making her way through the crowd. If you are shopping the ajumas will cut in front of you, race past you, grab your cart to leverage themselves so that they can pass. Ladies first.
5. Conglish. You will be looking for something in a store. But you don't know the name for it. So, you make hand motions and try the little Korean that you know. You need bug spray. 'Umm......bug......(then you make the can shake and spray hand motion with a 'shhhhh' sound effect.'
'Oh, BUG-uh Spray!' .......It can be that easy.
'Carpet? Isoyo carpet?'
'Molayo'
'Carpet....'
I looked to my co-teacher for help.
'Carpet-uh.'
'OHHHHHH!'
You've got to be kidding me.
4. Fan death. I still can't believe how widely believed it is. Shocking.
4. The constant staring. This is a personal thing for me. I catch a lot of people staring at me. Most likely it's because I'm a whitey and they want to wear my skin like a suit.
4a. I have to have a tie here. Another thing that is a personal experience for me is that I have trouble breathing at certain times. I get choked up a little out in the city or when I am running up the stairs in the subway. I struggle to take the deep breaths I need. Maybe fan death is real........Or the air quality in Incheon makes my frail, spoiled Seattle lungs weak.
2. There is no heat in your hallways or bathrooms or most gyms. Let's just say they don't like to waste heat. If you freeze to death, your body will make a magnificent sacrifice.....
1. The most amazing thing to me is BLACK OUT KOREA. Business men go out after work and get black out drunk. Within TWO hours they are belligerent. They are falling everywhere. They need the buddy system. If you don't have a buddy, then this might happen to you....
Subway Black out
The Local Kimbap spot Blackout
The Crane Game
Here kids! I couldn't win one of the stuffed animals but you can have this blacked out guy.
Curteousy of http://blackoutkorea.com/
and the facebook group
http://www.facebook.com/#/pages/Black-Out-Korea/128220428095?ref=ts
I have seen more than my fair share. Oddly enough rarely does someone come to wake them up even if they are in a bar.
I have a photo of a couple having a nap in the bar. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find it right now.
Everything but number 1 is debatable. What else can we think of......?
Monday, January 11, 2010
Second Day of Teachers' English Lessons
The second day was not a smashing success like the first. But I did get some digits.
For my mother: Mother, I procured a telephone number from a female Korean teacher. Before you assail me with questions let me say this, I don't know, Mom. That should put a silence to every one of your questions.
For my Father: Don't worry, she only wants to have my babies. That's why I gave her my name and number.
For everyone else: I'm obviously going to marry her and stay in Korea forever. I will never see any of you again. Sorry.
I had 2 classes back to back today. The first class was relatively quiet. In all fairness I could tell they had a hard time understanding some of what I was saying. But there was a smoking hot Korean in my first class. She made the time pass nicely for me. But I didn't write my number on the board for this class. My second class was the more talkative of the two. Albeit a decent portion of it was in Korean. But at least they were talking. They seemed more interested in me than my topic. They had all sorts of questions about me from my lactose intolerance (Dave, they can't touch you on that subject) to adoption to my age. 'I know I'm such a babyface. I don't even look 25.'
'Ohhhh~,' they all sounded in surprise. 'Do you have a girlfriend?'
'No, I don't. It's too hard to have a long distance relationship. And I haven't been here very long, either.'
'Oh, you two should meet up. Age is just a number,' they said.
'Well, here's my name and number,' I wrote it up on the board. 'You can help me with your Korean. And I'll help you with your English.'
'If you two go out, can I come with?' chimed the matchmaker with a smile and a laugh.
'Ohhh, noo, all of us are married. Except her,' she pointed at the woman sitting on the right hand side of the matchmaker. 'But she has 2 children!' The teacher pointed at the matchmaker.
'No, it's a lie.' She replied like one of my middle school students. 'I'll just come along on the date! Don't worry about me.' Attempting not to laugh.
A pretty funny group. They had some interesting questions. It just so happens they were more interested in conversing with me than talking about my topic. A pretty interesting couple days. Too bad I have to go back to my freezing office tomorrow.
Wings Night tonight. The 2 week absence has made my stomach grow fonder.
Should I blog Louis' story from Seattle on here?
For my mother: Mother, I procured a telephone number from a female Korean teacher. Before you assail me with questions let me say this, I don't know, Mom. That should put a silence to every one of your questions.
For my Father: Don't worry, she only wants to have my babies. That's why I gave her my name and number.
For everyone else: I'm obviously going to marry her and stay in Korea forever. I will never see any of you again. Sorry.
I had 2 classes back to back today. The first class was relatively quiet. In all fairness I could tell they had a hard time understanding some of what I was saying. But there was a smoking hot Korean in my first class. She made the time pass nicely for me. But I didn't write my number on the board for this class. My second class was the more talkative of the two. Albeit a decent portion of it was in Korean. But at least they were talking. They seemed more interested in me than my topic. They had all sorts of questions about me from my lactose intolerance (Dave, they can't touch you on that subject) to adoption to my age. 'I know I'm such a babyface. I don't even look 25.'
'Ohhhh~,' they all sounded in surprise. 'Do you have a girlfriend?'
'No, I don't. It's too hard to have a long distance relationship. And I haven't been here very long, either.'
'Oh, you two should meet up. Age is just a number,' they said.
'Well, here's my name and number,' I wrote it up on the board. 'You can help me with your Korean. And I'll help you with your English.'
'If you two go out, can I come with?' chimed the matchmaker with a smile and a laugh.
'Ohhh, noo, all of us are married. Except her,' she pointed at the woman sitting on the right hand side of the matchmaker. 'But she has 2 children!' The teacher pointed at the matchmaker.
'No, it's a lie.' She replied like one of my middle school students. 'I'll just come along on the date! Don't worry about me.' Attempting not to laugh.
A pretty funny group. They had some interesting questions. It just so happens they were more interested in conversing with me than talking about my topic. A pretty interesting couple days. Too bad I have to go back to my freezing office tomorrow.
Wings Night tonight. The 2 week absence has made my stomach grow fonder.
Should I blog Louis' story from Seattle on here?
Teachers' Classes and a personal note
I don't remember if I mentioned this previously in the blog. But for the first two days during this week I am teaching teachers' classes at Buwon Boys' Middle School (as an English Teacher I should know this, but are those ' apostrophes in their proper place?). I turned my lesson plan for the teachers' camp into my co-teachers a few weeks back. They provided me with information about lessons from past camps. And they told me the key bit of information about these classes, just talk. It's simple. Don't tell the teachers how to teach (I'm a 24 25 year old baby face). Don't make them read or give them boring activities. They want to listen to you talk and discuss with you. It's that simple. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a gauge from my co-teachers just how much these teachers would be able to speak. 'So, they are going to be able to converse in sentences with me?'
'Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know.'
'What do you mean you don't know?'
'I don't know who exactly will be there. Most likely it will be elementary teachers who don't speak good English at all. They just want you to speak. And to look at you if you are handsome. You'll be ok.' She keys her eyes and a smile at me. I scoff a little inside.
'Should I lesson plan for basic or advanced?'
'I don't know. It's up to you.' And she walked away. Thanks for the book.
Today, my first two classes were a smash. Forget that my lesson plan and articles were not recorded in the camp booklet because of miscommunication between me and my co-teachers (let's hope I get paid for that anyway). Not having any material but my voice and a piece of chalk might have been the best thing to happen to my lesson plan. We ranged from 'American as apple pie and the electric chair' to the pipe dreams of Hollywood to the Death Penalty to Touchdown Celebrations. And here's the kicker.
Let's just say she knew what she was talking about. At the end of my first class I let the teachers ask me a few questions. The first question was, 'Where do you teach? Buil?'
'Yes. How did you know?'
'Oh, we heard a rumor that a handsome teacher works there.'
How are you suppose to respond to that? '.....hm...Well, I hope they were not rumors. I do not mean to disappoint.'
Quietly one of the teachers responded, 'They were not rumors.'
My work here is done. Let's hope it goes this smoothly tomorrow.
It's too bad it doesn't seem to work like this at home.
Personal Note:
The question, 'What will you do next year?' constantly floats around the mouths and minds of each Native Teacher. I hear it all the time. I think about it even more. Will I stay another year? Will I return home? Will I come back and get a job immediately? Will I sit around neglectfully on a couch? Will I travel? Will I go back to school? For now, I haven't ruled out any of those options. I know 8 months is a long time away. Why make a decision I know I can't keep? I will answer that everyday I am leaning a new way. And I lean harder away from some and closer to others. It's like a tilt-o-whirl. The one thing I do appreciate is how little pressure there is for me to wonder about what I will do. It's very relaxing here in Korea..... minus the fact that the air feels like it's slowly choking me. (Forget 'fan death!' I feel like if I don't sleep with a fan on or air circulating in some way that I will die.)
Recently, I have been thinking more and more what I would be comfortable doing when I return. First, I would like to rent a house somewhere near the water with a couple friends. At the very least I'd like to able to see some water other than a rain puddle from my yard (more likely window). I am strongly considering going back to school. For what, I don't know yet. The one thing I do know for sure is that I don't want to work another dead end job like teller. If I have to work a mind numbing job like that again, then I might as well permanently break my back and claim my handicap parking pass at the DMV. I don't want to end up hating my job. Consequently, hatred for my daily job causes me enough grief to weigh me down from pursuing something that I am actually interested. No matter how fickle that career path might be. (Don't worry I'm not going to grow a 'farm' in my basement for private consumption)
What I want to do is pursue my writing skills. Now, I know my writing isn't up to snuff for the story I really want to write. But I would like to see what I can ink out onto paper. Maybe I'll write about my tales and the tales of other Native Teachers. Or maybe I'll begin writing about that one dreaded topic my mother always begs me not to talk about....our family. Either way I want to give it a shot even if it reads like a pipe dream. This might be my midlife crisis' early onset. I'm too poor to buy a sports car (and I kind of miss my Focus). So, why not a book?
The reason I chose History and English courses in college was I wanted to be able to articulate my thoughts more clearly onto paper. I'm not always clear in my articulation. I know I still ride sentences off onto tangents. It's a Goldsmith or rather CHARLTON tradition (thank you, Mom). But I do write more clearly than when you hear me speak. Plus, you can follow at your own pace instead of trying to follow my frenetic speaking pace.
I have more to say but this is a little drawn on, I know. So, let me cut to the chase. What do you think? Should I pursue my writing? Why am I asking you? Because either way I know my parents will say, 'Do what you want to do.' And my friends will say, 'Yeah. Give it a shot.' Because who doesn't want that reclusive, alcoholic American novelist as a friend? I do. But they would rather have the debonair Vincent Chase friend. Sorry guys, but who wouldn't?
With that said tell me what you think? Do I have enough of a self starter in me to try this? Should I take some classes? Go outright and give it a shot? Should I force feed you some of my work (...when it's in progress)? Or should I keep shoveling shit?
Felt good to write some of that down. Maybe I don't need to write anymore. :D (step one to better writing: NEVER use a smiley face again)
'Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know.'
'What do you mean you don't know?'
'I don't know who exactly will be there. Most likely it will be elementary teachers who don't speak good English at all. They just want you to speak. And to look at you if you are handsome. You'll be ok.' She keys her eyes and a smile at me. I scoff a little inside.
'Should I lesson plan for basic or advanced?'
'I don't know. It's up to you.' And she walked away. Thanks for the book.
Today, my first two classes were a smash. Forget that my lesson plan and articles were not recorded in the camp booklet because of miscommunication between me and my co-teachers (let's hope I get paid for that anyway). Not having any material but my voice and a piece of chalk might have been the best thing to happen to my lesson plan. We ranged from 'American as apple pie and the electric chair' to the pipe dreams of Hollywood to the Death Penalty to Touchdown Celebrations. And here's the kicker.
Let's just say she knew what she was talking about. At the end of my first class I let the teachers ask me a few questions. The first question was, 'Where do you teach? Buil?'
'Yes. How did you know?'
'Oh, we heard a rumor that a handsome teacher works there.'
How are you suppose to respond to that? '.....hm...Well, I hope they were not rumors. I do not mean to disappoint.'
Quietly one of the teachers responded, 'They were not rumors.'
My work here is done. Let's hope it goes this smoothly tomorrow.
It's too bad it doesn't seem to work like this at home.
Personal Note:
The question, 'What will you do next year?' constantly floats around the mouths and minds of each Native Teacher. I hear it all the time. I think about it even more. Will I stay another year? Will I return home? Will I come back and get a job immediately? Will I sit around neglectfully on a couch? Will I travel? Will I go back to school? For now, I haven't ruled out any of those options. I know 8 months is a long time away. Why make a decision I know I can't keep? I will answer that everyday I am leaning a new way. And I lean harder away from some and closer to others. It's like a tilt-o-whirl. The one thing I do appreciate is how little pressure there is for me to wonder about what I will do. It's very relaxing here in Korea..... minus the fact that the air feels like it's slowly choking me. (Forget 'fan death!' I feel like if I don't sleep with a fan on or air circulating in some way that I will die.)
Recently, I have been thinking more and more what I would be comfortable doing when I return. First, I would like to rent a house somewhere near the water with a couple friends. At the very least I'd like to able to see some water other than a rain puddle from my yard (more likely window). I am strongly considering going back to school. For what, I don't know yet. The one thing I do know for sure is that I don't want to work another dead end job like teller. If I have to work a mind numbing job like that again, then I might as well permanently break my back and claim my handicap parking pass at the DMV. I don't want to end up hating my job. Consequently, hatred for my daily job causes me enough grief to weigh me down from pursuing something that I am actually interested. No matter how fickle that career path might be. (Don't worry I'm not going to grow a 'farm' in my basement for private consumption)
What I want to do is pursue my writing skills. Now, I know my writing isn't up to snuff for the story I really want to write. But I would like to see what I can ink out onto paper. Maybe I'll write about my tales and the tales of other Native Teachers. Or maybe I'll begin writing about that one dreaded topic my mother always begs me not to talk about....our family. Either way I want to give it a shot even if it reads like a pipe dream. This might be my midlife crisis' early onset. I'm too poor to buy a sports car (and I kind of miss my Focus). So, why not a book?
The reason I chose History and English courses in college was I wanted to be able to articulate my thoughts more clearly onto paper. I'm not always clear in my articulation. I know I still ride sentences off onto tangents. It's a Goldsmith or rather CHARLTON tradition (thank you, Mom). But I do write more clearly than when you hear me speak. Plus, you can follow at your own pace instead of trying to follow my frenetic speaking pace.
I have more to say but this is a little drawn on, I know. So, let me cut to the chase. What do you think? Should I pursue my writing? Why am I asking you? Because either way I know my parents will say, 'Do what you want to do.' And my friends will say, 'Yeah. Give it a shot.' Because who doesn't want that reclusive, alcoholic American novelist as a friend? I do. But they would rather have the debonair Vincent Chase friend. Sorry guys, but who wouldn't?
With that said tell me what you think? Do I have enough of a self starter in me to try this? Should I take some classes? Go outright and give it a shot? Should I force feed you some of my work (...when it's in progress)? Or should I keep shoveling shit?
Felt good to write some of that down. Maybe I don't need to write anymore. :D (step one to better writing: NEVER use a smiley face again)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Teacher's Lunch
Because of the snowstorm on Monday my school pushed the winter vacation forward by two days. So, instead of starting winter vacation on Thursday I am now on vacation. Or rather the kids and most of the teachers are on vacation. That means I am doing a lot of nothing in my office by myself. I like getting paid just to show up. It's nice. Ms. Yoo stops by for about 2 hours daily to teach me Korean for 30 minutes. Then I teach her English in return for an hour.
During Winter Vacation I eat lunch with the remaining teachers in the school including my vice principal. She speaks the most English of anyone else in the main teacher's office. Instead of knowing sparse words here and there she knows a decent amount of english phrases like, 'Is it delicious?' or the oddly nice 'Can you go back to your office?' (Uh...yes, I can.) Unfortunately, my Korean is far worse than her English. So, that leaves us at a nice, curteous impass when a situation arises. Naturally, a situation rears its head on the first day.
At lunch today they ordered me a dolsaht bibimbap (bibimbap in a stone bowl). They sat me directly to the left of my vice principal. She and I exchanged a couple words in English and Korean. After the formalities of hello I dug in without hesistation. I was trying to be neat by folding my napkin and being careful with my chopsticks. But I was famished. As I was devouring this bowl I spit one grain of rice directly onto her knuckle. SCORE! My eyes lit up. I covered my mouth. And I muttered out, 'Mianhamida!' ('Excuse me or sorry' more for the subway than spitting on your VP) The teacher on her right starts laughing when I say it. 'BAHHHH MIANHAMIDA AHAHA.' And my VP looks at me kindly replying, 'You're Welcome.' .... Uh....the pleasure was all mine, I assure you.
Teacher lunches are fun.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!
On Monday the clouds dumped approximately 7 inches of snow upon Incheon. It kept the taxis off the street. The bus system were immobilized. And the subways were packed. But the kids were stoked!
I tried to get in on a snowball fight. But Ms. Yoo was out there screaming 'Ya' at all the students to stop. Pretty ineffective when you are yelling from under an overhang into a field of 100 students white washing each other.
The setting of this play:
My schools courtyard
To the right building 1
Two of my students giving their best Korean pose
Careful she might actually flake some snow on you from there
BLASTED
Putting those dust pans to good use
Perfect Snow Camo
Don't look away!
She is probably throwing up the V's under her mittens.
DO YOU WANNA DIE?!
WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME?
UH....I didn't mean to.
Noooooo~ Stop. I'll cry if you do. (She did)
SNOW BURIAL
It's really too bad I didn't get involved. Although I did get hit a couple times. Should've built a fort and took them all on....
Monday, January 4, 2010
Leftovers from 09 and Fresh 10
Louis Horn told me from his 2 year expatriote experience in China that he was more homesick on Thanksgiving than on Christmas or any other Holiday. When he first told me this, I scoffed a little. I thought because of the two holidays and two family birthdays during the final week of December that I would miss home far more than Thanksgiving. But he was right. Christmas: Awesome. New Year's Eve: Ridiculous.
Christmas dinner at the Rocky Mountain Tavern in Itaewon was more than satisfying. It was one of the best calls Drake and I have made since we arrived. Just take a look at this dinner!!!
2.5 servings gone in an instant. All you can drink Beer and House Wine (red and white) as well. Whew.
These beached whales tell the tale.
I even found a free plastic tree on my apartment's lobby level floor (it smells fine and seems to be disease and flea free). I used about a quarter of the cards I received for Christmas and my birthday to decorate it. Pretty quaint little tree, if I do say so myself. At Ryan's suggestion I am leaving this up at least until March.
For my birthday I didn't do a whole lot. I tried to take it easy. But that failed miserably, I must say. I showed up late for school. And I was a complete mess. Luckily, they cut me some slack since it was my birthday the previous day. Thanks Ms. Yoo.
One of my classes threw me a surprise birthday celebration. Incredibly sweet especially because I don't even remember all their names..... :( ... I do remember bear and puma though. Great nicknames for girls.
CHOCO CAKES WOOO!!! Aw, you only put 18 candles on there. Good call.
They were setting this up all morning. They barred me off from entering the room to prep for my classes until it was finished. Incredible. 'Teach-uh. Nooo~ Go away! You come in, you die.'
Let's just say ringing in the New Year was a sight to behold. The pictures were burned. And memories were erased. Good times were had. Mom continue to feign ignorance.
Notes:
Even though Christmas and New Year's were great, I still reminisced about my family and friends on my birthday and throughout the past week. I sincerely miss all the people outside my family who deserve to be treated like family by me. You may not know who you are but there isn't enough people in my Korean wedding for you. Can I have twenty groomsmen? Maybe I'll have to marry 4 different wives. :P
In the back of my mind I seriously wonder about what is going on at home. I especially wonder about my wild family....hm.....
Sunday, January 3, 2010
MISTER MIICHIN PHOTO CONTEST!!!!!!!
I bring to you the best photos compiled over the past month of Mister Miichin.
Notes:
I have a lot to catch up on. So, expect a few entries over the next few days. Maybe I'll just put up photos w/ captions. What do you think?
Stairwell Stone Statue
2 minute 'SEX' stare (written on the door)
Stairmaster
By Drake
You think this is a game?!
SuperSam
Er, can you hear me now???
Coming for you
By Hyun Gyu
VICTORY!
by Jeffrey Lau and co.
We've had a pretty good turn out. A few of these are really good photos. Late entries are more than welcome. So, I will put up the voting box in the right hand corner next week.
Notes:
I have a lot to catch up on. So, expect a few entries over the next few days. Maybe I'll just put up photos w/ captions. What do you think?
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