Plan to top all plans

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I have almost finished my Winter camps. It's back to classes starting Thursday. But I will have a one week 'Spring Break' shortly after school resumes. I'm a little disappointed that I am only going to have my 1st graders for three days of camp instead of five. They enjoy my classes the most out of any of the grades. If they only knew the truth. But this blind love for the white guy is something I am never going to get in the U.S.

The attention I get here is off the charts. Si Khoa kept reiterating it last night, 'You know that, when you go back to the states, you will never receive the kind of treatment you receive here.' He's right. I'm a rock star here. I wouldn't say that when I walk down the street I need to put on my shades and hide my face. Rose petals aren't laid at my feet like Jabbi Jaffar from 'Coming to America.' But I do get blatantly stared at whenever I ride the subway. No, it's not because my nose is the size of George Washington's nose on Mt. Rushmore. Well, at least not all the time. I receive a lot of undue attention.

This type of attention I will never receive when I am home because I don't stand out. In a good way that is. You know I like to cause scenes every once in a while for the fun of it. Especially around you Mom. I love to embarrass you. I do it because I care, Mom. This is why she won't take my brother and me out in public. Back to the point, I will never receive attention like this from students, women, or anyone for that matter. I need to soak this up while I can.

Here's the plan:  OPERATION LIKE A SPONGE


Step 1
Drink less booze.
  I know this is unorthodox but I need all my faculties to pull off a dangerous maneuver like this.

Step 2
Make lesson plans ridiculously fun. Elicit funny responses. Example, 'Teacher, they just fucking....' errr.....maybe overboard for eliciting that response. Let's aim for, 'Teacher, mummy sexy, sexy.'

Step 3
Anytime a Korean invites you to their home ACCEPT IT. Turning down free food is pretty much a sin. So is not experiencing all that the culture has to offer.

Step 4
Marry a Korean woman.

...Wait. What? No step 4.

Step 4 revised
Date a Korean girl


Step 5
Learn Korean.
 I know what you're thinking, shouldn't you learn Korean before you date a Korean? Then I would miss out on the wonderful miscommunications between us.

Step 6
Break up with old Korean girlfriend and start dating new Korean girlfriend.
 The miscommunications got our relationship off on the wrong foot. I couldn't correct it from there.

Step 7
Just keep livin' the dream. Not much of a step. Just a great way to keep livin'.

Step 8
Soak it all in like a sponge. Then pass judgment upon Korean living vs. American living. (I can already tell you that you cannot compare cultures on a judgmental level)


It seems like a pretty flawed plan, no? Especially steps 4 through 6. They way I see it 'the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.' Instead lower your expectations and make a crazy plan SO crazy that it just might work.

Chances of working.......5%.
High risk, high reward type of plan.

Don't worry, Mom. I'll send you a picture home of my Korean wife and kids soon enough!