Drake's Family Structure in action...
Thanks to Seo Hee Chung for posting this one online. A good find.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Manny being Manny
I'm not lying. This is Manny Ramirez's new product endorsement.....
http://sumpoosiecatinabottle.com/
Before him, Santana Moss endorsed it. Now, they are stepping up there endorsement to someone who holds a bigger bat...
http://sumpoosiecatinabottle.com/
Before him, Santana Moss endorsed it. Now, they are stepping up there endorsement to someone who holds a bigger bat...
FAREWELL TEACHERS
So, I thought last night was an introductory dinner. Instead it was a Farewell Dinner to remember.
At first I thought, NO WAY am I posting this. Then I thought about it. And I had to. Mom, here's a little insight to your son. If you think ignorance is bliss, then stop here.
The only way I can think of to tell a debauchery story like this one is a Tucker Max-esque chronological timeline narrative.
5:45pm ----- Arrive at restaurant. Main co-teacher scolds me and K for pouring a drink on an empty stomach. We wait to drink.
5:50pm ---- Mi Sun and Miss Yoo tell me that they will drink! I am excited. Mi Sun tells me that she will pay a designated driver. I am even more excited. I want a designated driver. I miss my car.
6:00pm ---- Departing teachers receive presents. Principal blows out the '61' numbered candles on his birthday cake. I remark how good he looks at 61. I want to look that good at 61.
6:01pm ---- Principal makes a birthday and send off speech.
6:04pm ---- We cheers the 1st soju shot to the principal's 61st birthday. I am jealous of his looks. 'I want to look like him and George Clooney,' I say.
6:10pm ---- We cheers again. This time to the departing teachers.
6:15pm ---- We begin cooking the duck. We are cheers'ing again. 'Kombai!' Why? Because we can.
6:16pm ---- I remark about how much I hate soju. I explain that soju hangovers are worse than wine hangovers. I refuse to retract my statement. I drink another soju shot anyway.
6:19pm ---- I realize that I dont have any pictures with any of them particularly Mi Sun, who is leaving. I dont have my camera. Miss Yoo offers up her phone as a camera.
6:21pm ---- It is a hassle for the teacher to use her phone as a camera. She uses her own camera.
6:22pm ---- She snaps a photo of me with chopsticks in my mouth like a walrus. I have only had 2 shots of soju.
6:30pm ---- I am eating delicious duck. Quack quack, how you like me now you foul? I begin to curse the delicious duck.
6:45pm ---- Mi Sun and K order sweet wine. Someone pours me a shot glass of champagne. I keep eating the duck.
6::51pm ---- Mmm duck. Oh, a shot? Don't mind if I do.
6:55pm ---- Another cheers. Ok, sure.
7:00pm ---- I'm beginning to notice I'm buzzed. I must eat more duck.
7:10pm ---- Focusing on the duck. K has wandered off to talk to the dirty old man teacher. Miss Yoo and I remark about dirty old men. 'Ohhhh~, she is so popular with the old men,' Miss Yoo exclaims out of jealousy and disgust. 'It's ok. Old men just know what they want,' I remark.
7:12pm ---- Someone tells me to eat more. Don't you worry, lady, I will.
7:25pm ---- Soju. 10? 12?
7:30pm ---- K comes back to the table. She starts swearing in English. I explain a few curses to her. She curses in my general direction. Miss Yoo gives it a shot. In a teaching way I curse back loudly alarming other teachers. I boast about my cursing repertoire in English and Korean.
7:33pm ---- Here's to fucking cursing *gulp*
7:35pm --- I ask about puns. They tell me a Conglish pun. I laugh. I forget it quickly.
7:40pm ----- Random teachers including the vice principal are coming over to drink with me. A shot? Again? Why not!
7:45pm ---- Where are all these drinks coming from? I have lost count already.
7:52pm ---- I am redder in the face than the Koreans. This isn't how this is suppose to work. They remark on it. I explain that they should be the ones with the Asian glow not me. I tell them I am dehydrated. I need water. They order more water.
8:00pm ---- I gulp down a liter of water. Ah! I am refreshed! My face and nose feel less like Rudolph.
8:05pm ---- More duck. More soju.
8:07pm ---- I realize that I am doomed.
8:15pm ---- The principal makes a final send off speech for the departing teachers. In his speech he calls me 'half a human' who cannot understand. He is joking. Everyone laughs. I am still sad.
8:16pm ---- Cheers to you, Half Human! Maybe....I am like Harry Potter...Or just half man, half animal...
8:20pm ---- More people are pouring me random shots.
8:20:30pm ---- K pours me another shot immediately after I finish my last shot. She shoots hers and mockingly turns the almost empty shot glass upside down over her head.
8:21pm ---- I make K take another shot with me, after this slighting.
8:25pm ---- Miss Yoo has long since stopped drinking. She looks at me disparagingly. But she says nothing about my drinking. My Korean Mother let's this occasion slide. Pour me another!
8:30pm ---- Miss Yoo introduces me to a teacher that I have never met before. Is she cute? I can't tell anymore.
8:31pm ---- She says I look like Jim from The Office. She is cute.
8:33pm ---- Mi Sun joins in on The Office conversation. She says Dwight is cuter than Jim. WHAT?! I defend Jim's honor. I secretly agree that Dwight might be the best character.
8:37pm ---- Jim lovers unite against Mi Sun. Jim's pranks on Dwight are too funny. The stapler in the jello! C'mon! The phone in the ceiling! Priceless.
8:45pm ---- We are the last of the bunch. 12 of the original 30 or 40 remain. Mi Sun is elated to be here so late. Miss Yoo talks about Mi Sun's drinking days with her husband in college. Alcoholic? Scandalous!
8:50pm ---- My Principal and Vice Principal invite me and the group to their table. 4 more shots down the hatch. They are liquoring me up good. I am not suspicious of anything. The principal asks me what my favorite type of meat is. I refrain from making any jokes. I tell him whatever his favorite meat is. I refrain from making more jokes. He offers to take me out to eat and drink sometime. I don't care about the language barrier. I want to know his secrets of youth! I want a free meal!
8:55pm ---- I find out their secret plan! THEY WANT ME TO STAY ANOTHER YEAR! They get me hammered and ask me to stay 1 more year! They are tricky! It's 6 on 1! Everyone is trying to get me to commit to another year. Offers are being made. The VP basically offers her daughter to me. My ego is being stroked. The gifts are being laid before me. More women are being thrown before me. We will find you a Korean girlfriend!!! How about her!? I see their plan. I must stay strong! How do I combat against it?
8:57pm ---- I take another shot.
9:00pm ---- I will not falter! I explain 6 months is a long time. We will see. I hold strong. Soju is my enemy.
9:12pm ---- We are kicked out of the restaurant.
9:15pm ---- I do not want to Noraebang it up. We go to a local bar.
9:20pm ---- K buys a round of beers. I fear this beer will be the end of me.
9:35pm ---- More cursing, more office talk, more laughing. I forget the time.
9:50pm ---- Sipping on the beer. I am beginning to lose my English. So are they. It's come down to cursing.
10:05pm ----- AHHHHH I see the time. I am suppose to be online playing Dan in 25 minutes. I begin gulping my giant beer.
10:06pm ---- Beer gone. I begin to make my goodbyes.
10:07pm ---- They are wondering why I am leaving. They object to my leaving. Miss Yoo tells me I cannot leave because my bag with my computer is in her car. I tell her not to worry. It's not like I will be using it tomorrow. I will be sleeping on my desk and nursing a hangover at work. I can't actually do any work.
10:10pm ---- I run away! I must get home!
10:20pm ---- I am fast. I am home. Memories fade. Goodnight, Mind.
8:00am ---- UGH! I wake up in my pants and socks surrounded by my clothes from last night and a PS3 controller. I wonder if I played Dan. I check the PS3. It's unplugged. Not a chance.
8:10am ---- After I shower, I see that my backpack is in my doorway. How did that get there?
8:40am ---- I am the only one at work. Everyone else has the day off. I am still drunk, so, I am not miserable, yet. I eat my ramen and drink 2 liters of water.
9:01am ---- I am miserable.
11:25am ---- K shows up to give me bananas, lemonade, and gatorade. She tells me she remembered what I said last night about being dehydrated. And this is for my dehydration. I think that if I ate a banana right now, I would more certainly vomit. I cannot stand the texture of bananas.
11:27am ---- K tells me she vommed. I laugh. She vommed again this morning after she cleaned it up. I laugh some more. Vomming is funny.
11:28am ---- Miss Yoo calls me. She is upset with me. Why didn't you pick up the phone when I called 10 times last night? I came to give you your backpack and you did not answer! I had to sit in the taxi while I waited for you to come get your backpack! I am amazed and very sorry. I try to explain my state of mind.
11:29am ---- I give up explaining. She will get over it. I think, Last night was a gooooood night. K leaves to go home and sleep. I am jealous. Memories return. My body is upset.
My total tally:
Soju: 2 or 3 bottles. I quickly lost count.
Duck: Enough to get me to Round 4 in Duck Hunt. Get back dog!!! Thats my duck!!!
Beer: 700Ml
Pride: Low
Chances of breathing fire: High
Notes:
Now, I haven't mentioned this to anyone because I don't want you to get stirred up. This is just a rumor. So, please do not get worked up about this. Don't freak out. Do not ask me more questions. I won't know the answers. I heard that this year or next may be the last year for some schools in Incheon, like mine, to have a native teacher on the district payroll. I was told the Incheon district does not have enough money (expenses were spent elsewhere like on purchasing property, the economy, etc.). So, they are thinking about making cutbacks somewhere. This is just a possibility. I know there are conflicting reasons to this. In example Lee Myung Bak's education promises that states, every school shall have a native English speaker in it. But it's something to think about. If you stay another year, you could be the school's last native teacher. Mi Sun kept telling me that in an honorable manner. You could be our school's last native teacher! You should stay another year!
The VP's daughter has been studying in Canada for the past 6 years. I am assuming she speaks good English. And her and her husband took me out to some good Italian food last Sunday. I see their plan!
Three weeks. 21.
P.S. It's almost 1am the next day. And I'm still hungover. ....
Curse you, SOJU!
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE POST, MOTHER!
At first I thought, NO WAY am I posting this. Then I thought about it. And I had to. Mom, here's a little insight to your son. If you think ignorance is bliss, then stop here.
The only way I can think of to tell a debauchery story like this one is a Tucker Max-esque chronological timeline narrative.
5:45pm ----- Arrive at restaurant. Main co-teacher scolds me and K for pouring a drink on an empty stomach. We wait to drink.
5:50pm ---- Mi Sun and Miss Yoo tell me that they will drink! I am excited. Mi Sun tells me that she will pay a designated driver. I am even more excited. I want a designated driver. I miss my car.
6:00pm ---- Departing teachers receive presents. Principal blows out the '61' numbered candles on his birthday cake. I remark how good he looks at 61. I want to look that good at 61.
6:01pm ---- Principal makes a birthday and send off speech.
6:04pm ---- We cheers the 1st soju shot to the principal's 61st birthday. I am jealous of his looks. 'I want to look like him and George Clooney,' I say.
6:10pm ---- We cheers again. This time to the departing teachers.
6:15pm ---- We begin cooking the duck. We are cheers'ing again. 'Kombai!' Why? Because we can.
6:16pm ---- I remark about how much I hate soju. I explain that soju hangovers are worse than wine hangovers. I refuse to retract my statement. I drink another soju shot anyway.
6:19pm ---- I realize that I dont have any pictures with any of them particularly Mi Sun, who is leaving. I dont have my camera. Miss Yoo offers up her phone as a camera.
6:21pm ---- It is a hassle for the teacher to use her phone as a camera. She uses her own camera.
6:22pm ---- She snaps a photo of me with chopsticks in my mouth like a walrus. I have only had 2 shots of soju.
6:30pm ---- I am eating delicious duck. Quack quack, how you like me now you foul? I begin to curse the delicious duck.
6:45pm ---- Mi Sun and K order sweet wine. Someone pours me a shot glass of champagne. I keep eating the duck.
6::51pm ---- Mmm duck. Oh, a shot? Don't mind if I do.
6:55pm ---- Another cheers. Ok, sure.
7:00pm ---- I'm beginning to notice I'm buzzed. I must eat more duck.
7:10pm ---- Focusing on the duck. K has wandered off to talk to the dirty old man teacher. Miss Yoo and I remark about dirty old men. 'Ohhhh~, she is so popular with the old men,' Miss Yoo exclaims out of jealousy and disgust. 'It's ok. Old men just know what they want,' I remark.
7:12pm ---- Someone tells me to eat more. Don't you worry, lady, I will.
7:25pm ---- Soju. 10? 12?
7:30pm ---- K comes back to the table. She starts swearing in English. I explain a few curses to her. She curses in my general direction. Miss Yoo gives it a shot. In a teaching way I curse back loudly alarming other teachers. I boast about my cursing repertoire in English and Korean.
7:33pm ---- Here's to fucking cursing *gulp*
7:35pm --- I ask about puns. They tell me a Conglish pun. I laugh. I forget it quickly.
7:40pm ----- Random teachers including the vice principal are coming over to drink with me. A shot? Again? Why not!
7:45pm ---- Where are all these drinks coming from? I have lost count already.
7:52pm ---- I am redder in the face than the Koreans. This isn't how this is suppose to work. They remark on it. I explain that they should be the ones with the Asian glow not me. I tell them I am dehydrated. I need water. They order more water.
8:00pm ---- I gulp down a liter of water. Ah! I am refreshed! My face and nose feel less like Rudolph.
8:05pm ---- More duck. More soju.
8:07pm ---- I realize that I am doomed.
8:15pm ---- The principal makes a final send off speech for the departing teachers. In his speech he calls me 'half a human' who cannot understand. He is joking. Everyone laughs. I am still sad.
8:16pm ---- Cheers to you, Half Human! Maybe....I am like Harry Potter...Or just half man, half animal...
8:20pm ---- More people are pouring me random shots.
8:20:30pm ---- K pours me another shot immediately after I finish my last shot. She shoots hers and mockingly turns the almost empty shot glass upside down over her head.
8:21pm ---- I make K take another shot with me, after this slighting.
8:25pm ---- Miss Yoo has long since stopped drinking. She looks at me disparagingly. But she says nothing about my drinking. My Korean Mother let's this occasion slide. Pour me another!
8:30pm ---- Miss Yoo introduces me to a teacher that I have never met before. Is she cute? I can't tell anymore.
8:31pm ---- She says I look like Jim from The Office. She is cute.
8:33pm ---- Mi Sun joins in on The Office conversation. She says Dwight is cuter than Jim. WHAT?! I defend Jim's honor. I secretly agree that Dwight might be the best character.
8:37pm ---- Jim lovers unite against Mi Sun. Jim's pranks on Dwight are too funny. The stapler in the jello! C'mon! The phone in the ceiling! Priceless.
8:45pm ---- We are the last of the bunch. 12 of the original 30 or 40 remain. Mi Sun is elated to be here so late. Miss Yoo talks about Mi Sun's drinking days with her husband in college. Alcoholic? Scandalous!
8:50pm ---- My Principal and Vice Principal invite me and the group to their table. 4 more shots down the hatch. They are liquoring me up good. I am not suspicious of anything. The principal asks me what my favorite type of meat is. I refrain from making any jokes. I tell him whatever his favorite meat is. I refrain from making more jokes. He offers to take me out to eat and drink sometime. I don't care about the language barrier. I want to know his secrets of youth! I want a free meal!
8:55pm ---- I find out their secret plan! THEY WANT ME TO STAY ANOTHER YEAR! They get me hammered and ask me to stay 1 more year! They are tricky! It's 6 on 1! Everyone is trying to get me to commit to another year. Offers are being made. The VP basically offers her daughter to me. My ego is being stroked. The gifts are being laid before me. More women are being thrown before me. We will find you a Korean girlfriend!!! How about her!? I see their plan. I must stay strong! How do I combat against it?
8:57pm ---- I take another shot.
9:00pm ---- I will not falter! I explain 6 months is a long time. We will see. I hold strong. Soju is my enemy.
9:12pm ---- We are kicked out of the restaurant.
9:15pm ---- I do not want to Noraebang it up. We go to a local bar.
9:20pm ---- K buys a round of beers. I fear this beer will be the end of me.
9:35pm ---- More cursing, more office talk, more laughing. I forget the time.
9:50pm ---- Sipping on the beer. I am beginning to lose my English. So are they. It's come down to cursing.
10:05pm ----- AHHHHH I see the time. I am suppose to be online playing Dan in 25 minutes. I begin gulping my giant beer.
10:06pm ---- Beer gone. I begin to make my goodbyes.
10:07pm ---- They are wondering why I am leaving. They object to my leaving. Miss Yoo tells me I cannot leave because my bag with my computer is in her car. I tell her not to worry. It's not like I will be using it tomorrow. I will be sleeping on my desk and nursing a hangover at work. I can't actually do any work.
10:10pm ---- I run away! I must get home!
10:20pm ---- I am fast. I am home. Memories fade. Goodnight, Mind.
8:00am ---- UGH! I wake up in my pants and socks surrounded by my clothes from last night and a PS3 controller. I wonder if I played Dan. I check the PS3. It's unplugged. Not a chance.
8:10am ---- After I shower, I see that my backpack is in my doorway. How did that get there?
8:40am ---- I am the only one at work. Everyone else has the day off. I am still drunk, so, I am not miserable, yet. I eat my ramen and drink 2 liters of water.
9:01am ---- I am miserable.
11:25am ---- K shows up to give me bananas, lemonade, and gatorade. She tells me she remembered what I said last night about being dehydrated. And this is for my dehydration. I think that if I ate a banana right now, I would more certainly vomit. I cannot stand the texture of bananas.
11:27am ---- K tells me she vommed. I laugh. She vommed again this morning after she cleaned it up. I laugh some more. Vomming is funny.
11:28am ---- Miss Yoo calls me. She is upset with me. Why didn't you pick up the phone when I called 10 times last night? I came to give you your backpack and you did not answer! I had to sit in the taxi while I waited for you to come get your backpack! I am amazed and very sorry. I try to explain my state of mind.
11:29am ---- I give up explaining. She will get over it. I think, Last night was a gooooood night. K leaves to go home and sleep. I am jealous. Memories return. My body is upset.
My total tally:
Soju: 2 or 3 bottles. I quickly lost count.
Duck: Enough to get me to Round 4 in Duck Hunt. Get back dog!!! Thats my duck!!!
Beer: 700Ml
Pride: Low
Chances of breathing fire: High
Notes:
Now, I haven't mentioned this to anyone because I don't want you to get stirred up. This is just a rumor. So, please do not get worked up about this. Don't freak out. Do not ask me more questions. I won't know the answers. I heard that this year or next may be the last year for some schools in Incheon, like mine, to have a native teacher on the district payroll. I was told the Incheon district does not have enough money (expenses were spent elsewhere like on purchasing property, the economy, etc.). So, they are thinking about making cutbacks somewhere. This is just a possibility. I know there are conflicting reasons to this. In example Lee Myung Bak's education promises that states, every school shall have a native English speaker in it. But it's something to think about. If you stay another year, you could be the school's last native teacher. Mi Sun kept telling me that in an honorable manner. You could be our school's last native teacher! You should stay another year!
The VP's daughter has been studying in Canada for the past 6 years. I am assuming she speaks good English. And her and her husband took me out to some good Italian food last Sunday. I see their plan!
Three weeks. 21.
P.S. It's almost 1am the next day. And I'm still hungover. ....
Curse you, SOJU!
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE POST, MOTHER!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
New Year, Goodbye teachers
22
With the school year about to begin on March 2nd, I am going to be receiving a few new teachers. Like many native teachers, I am losing a few good teachers. For various reasons it's been fairly difficult to keep up with who is leaving and who is staying. Mainly, I am just out of the loop. I, finally, have a grip on who is leaving. But I don't have a good idea what my newest teachers are like. Tonight is the school dinner welcoming the new teachers. So, I will have a chance to meet them formally. But I am not excited. I am going to miss my co-teachers, especially Kim Mi Sun (김 미 선) and Pak Sun (박 선). Pak Sun looks like a doll. She is as sweet as one, too. She was originally suppose to stay to become the head of the English department. Unfortunately, my VP is overly controlling and denied that opportunity to her. Instead she is going to leave to do 6 months of vocational training. Mi Sun told us that she is going to miss us and all the laughs. And we are going to miss her. She is moving on to another, albeit better school. Instead of rehashing about who she is and how much we will miss her let me do a top 5 countdown about things we will miss about her.
5) The reader. She is always reading English novels. From The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to Kite Runner she is constantly reading. Now, Mrs. Gu can fill her shoes here. In fact she is already doing quite well in asking me for help with slang. Last night, when the English teachers were eating dinner at an expensive family restaurant (with Snoop Dogg playing on the speakers around us...only in Korea and maybe Compton), she asked me what 'booty call' meant. I could not control myself from laughing. Now, they know. And knowing is half the battle. G IIIIII JOOOOOEEEEE....sorry I get a little carried away with childhood cartoon references....TMNT is next...
4) The informer. Now, Mi Sun is a self proclaimed person of indifference. She doesn't care about gossip enough to seek it out nor spread it around. She doesn't give a damn about that. But she is always telling me what is going on. It's Ms. Yoo's job to notify me about the happenings around the school like tests, day offs, etc. Without her I would be coming to school on holidays and staying late after camp. Ms. Yoo is getting better.......
3) The leader. She is the well organized head teacher of the English department. She has made things run pretty efficiently around here during her tenure.
2) The translator and the only one who understands my jokes. If not for her, then it would be more difficult for me to tease Ms. Yoo. Who would laugh at my jokes then translate them for Ms. Yoo? Who would laugh with Ms. Gu after she says something revolving around her narcissism (known in Korea as the Princess Disease)?
1) The teacher. All of her kids love and respect her. She comes off very stern, calculated and somewhat indifferent. And it has rubbed off on them.....this really isn't a good thing all the time.....but she has helped me become a better teacher. I'm still not a good teacher. But she has helped me reform my lesson plans and guide me in the right direction. Often times she does it quite bluntly.
She has made my first 6 months at this school much easier and more comfortable than I thought it would be. But it's time to move on. Goodbye, Mi Sun....goodbye jokes...
From here on it's basically a new school year for me, too. Cowabunga dude.....
Notes:
Nothing could follow up on my last post. I think that is the most hits this blog will ever get. Just if I could manage to redeem myself on the Price is Right. At the very least find a few new videos.
It's almost been 6 months since I got to Korea. Starting March 2nd it will be downhill from there....
Here is your Korean Comic of the day
http://i.imgur.com/6IdQD.jpg
Later, I'll post a couple other videos and .gif's that I found the other day.
With the school year about to begin on March 2nd, I am going to be receiving a few new teachers. Like many native teachers, I am losing a few good teachers. For various reasons it's been fairly difficult to keep up with who is leaving and who is staying. Mainly, I am just out of the loop. I, finally, have a grip on who is leaving. But I don't have a good idea what my newest teachers are like. Tonight is the school dinner welcoming the new teachers. So, I will have a chance to meet them formally. But I am not excited. I am going to miss my co-teachers, especially Kim Mi Sun (김 미 선) and Pak Sun (박 선). Pak Sun looks like a doll. She is as sweet as one, too. She was originally suppose to stay to become the head of the English department. Unfortunately, my VP is overly controlling and denied that opportunity to her. Instead she is going to leave to do 6 months of vocational training. Mi Sun told us that she is going to miss us and all the laughs. And we are going to miss her. She is moving on to another, albeit better school. Instead of rehashing about who she is and how much we will miss her let me do a top 5 countdown about things we will miss about her.
5) The reader. She is always reading English novels. From The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to Kite Runner she is constantly reading. Now, Mrs. Gu can fill her shoes here. In fact she is already doing quite well in asking me for help with slang. Last night, when the English teachers were eating dinner at an expensive family restaurant (with Snoop Dogg playing on the speakers around us...only in Korea and maybe Compton), she asked me what 'booty call' meant. I could not control myself from laughing. Now, they know. And knowing is half the battle. G IIIIII JOOOOOEEEEE....sorry I get a little carried away with childhood cartoon references....TMNT is next...
4) The informer. Now, Mi Sun is a self proclaimed person of indifference. She doesn't care about gossip enough to seek it out nor spread it around. She doesn't give a damn about that. But she is always telling me what is going on. It's Ms. Yoo's job to notify me about the happenings around the school like tests, day offs, etc. Without her I would be coming to school on holidays and staying late after camp. Ms. Yoo is getting better.......
3) The leader. She is the well organized head teacher of the English department. She has made things run pretty efficiently around here during her tenure.
2) The translator and the only one who understands my jokes. If not for her, then it would be more difficult for me to tease Ms. Yoo. Who would laugh at my jokes then translate them for Ms. Yoo? Who would laugh with Ms. Gu after she says something revolving around her narcissism (known in Korea as the Princess Disease)?
1) The teacher. All of her kids love and respect her. She comes off very stern, calculated and somewhat indifferent. And it has rubbed off on them.....this really isn't a good thing all the time.....but she has helped me become a better teacher. I'm still not a good teacher. But she has helped me reform my lesson plans and guide me in the right direction. Often times she does it quite bluntly.
She has made my first 6 months at this school much easier and more comfortable than I thought it would be. But it's time to move on. Goodbye, Mi Sun....goodbye jokes...
From here on it's basically a new school year for me, too. Cowabunga dude.....
Notes:
Nothing could follow up on my last post. I think that is the most hits this blog will ever get. Just if I could manage to redeem myself on the Price is Right. At the very least find a few new videos.
It's almost been 6 months since I got to Korea. Starting March 2nd it will be downhill from there....
Here is your Korean Comic of the day
http://i.imgur.com/6IdQD.jpg
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
COME ON DOWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!............
I told you that I was going to present you with something you've never seen before. Before I do, first, let me give you the background story.....
About 6 or 7 years ago, my Mother and I took a trip to L.A. to see a little show called the Price is Right. She always wanted to be on the show. At the very least she wanted to be in the audience to watch Bob Barker work his mesmerizing magic on an audience. My mom was studying like crazy in case she got down to Contestant's Row. She wanted me to do the same. Not only did I think there was no chance I would be chosen but I was pretty confident I didn't need to study any products like metal detectors. Anyway, you aren't guaranteed a seat in the audience. So, we got there early in the morning. We waited all day for the afternoon recording. We sat in our seats next to a few new friends. I was a little disappointed that neither my mom nor I was chosen. Nonetheless, she was having a good time. And that put a satisfied smile on my face. When the time came, we had been sitting in the audience all the way through the first half of the show and 1 contestant into the second half.....then the announcer dropped a bombshell on my serene world...
There is one thing the video cannot convene to you. When I asked my mother, how much, I heard her. She didn't say 535. She said, 715 (or something very, very close to it). What was the actual retail price......715. I know, I know. What was I thinking? I'll tell you.
WTF?!!?!?!?! HOW DOES A METAL DETECTOR COST THAT MUCH?!
....But she was the one who studied the prices....poor mother....
I'm definitely going to hear about this at my wedding. I better have a secret wedding away from my parents country here in Korea. Hopefully, my bride has never heard of the Price is Right.
Notes:
The size of the audience looks like it's around 1000 people, right? It's actually more like 300-350 people. It's not a very large set at all. Camera magic.
The cute girl next to me----- go back and check out her facial expressions whenever I do something. Her expressions are a perfect description of each moment. Like when I ask Bob to quiet the audience, she is dying.
The personalities of the people in the audience were very colorful to say the least. When it came time to audition (essentially they ask you for your name, where you're from and what you do) along with 5 other people in front of the show's management, I put on my best show.
'What's your name? Where are you from? And what do you do?'
'My name is Justin. I'm a student from Seattle, Washington. And if I got up on stage, I would do cartwheels around Bob Barker.' They smiled and laughed. They ate it up. It was pure gold, apparently. At the very least I did manage to put on some good entertainment for everyone.
As a consolation prize I did receive a set of gold his/her watches, a telephone (no idea what we did with that), and a signed photo of Bob Barker. My mom treasures that photo because her mother adored him just as much as she did. If she knew I did all this on the Price is Right, my Grandmothwould roll over and laugh in her grave.
6 months should be enough time to live this down, right?
About 6 or 7 years ago, my Mother and I took a trip to L.A. to see a little show called the Price is Right. She always wanted to be on the show. At the very least she wanted to be in the audience to watch Bob Barker work his mesmerizing magic on an audience. My mom was studying like crazy in case she got down to Contestant's Row. She wanted me to do the same. Not only did I think there was no chance I would be chosen but I was pretty confident I didn't need to study any products like metal detectors. Anyway, you aren't guaranteed a seat in the audience. So, we got there early in the morning. We waited all day for the afternoon recording. We sat in our seats next to a few new friends. I was a little disappointed that neither my mom nor I was chosen. Nonetheless, she was having a good time. And that put a satisfied smile on my face. When the time came, we had been sitting in the audience all the way through the first half of the show and 1 contestant into the second half.....then the announcer dropped a bombshell on my serene world...
There is one thing the video cannot convene to you. When I asked my mother, how much, I heard her. She didn't say 535. She said, 715 (or something very, very close to it). What was the actual retail price......715. I know, I know. What was I thinking? I'll tell you.
WTF?!!?!?!?! HOW DOES A METAL DETECTOR COST THAT MUCH?!
....But she was the one who studied the prices....poor mother....
I'm definitely going to hear about this at my wedding. I better have a secret wedding away from my parents country here in Korea. Hopefully, my bride has never heard of the Price is Right.
Notes:
The size of the audience looks like it's around 1000 people, right? It's actually more like 300-350 people. It's not a very large set at all. Camera magic.
The cute girl next to me----- go back and check out her facial expressions whenever I do something. Her expressions are a perfect description of each moment. Like when I ask Bob to quiet the audience, she is dying.
The personalities of the people in the audience were very colorful to say the least. When it came time to audition (essentially they ask you for your name, where you're from and what you do) along with 5 other people in front of the show's management, I put on my best show.
'What's your name? Where are you from? And what do you do?'
'My name is Justin. I'm a student from Seattle, Washington. And if I got up on stage, I would do cartwheels around Bob Barker.' They smiled and laughed. They ate it up. It was pure gold, apparently. At the very least I did manage to put on some good entertainment for everyone.
As a consolation prize I did receive a set of gold his/her watches, a telephone (no idea what we did with that), and a signed photo of Bob Barker. My mom treasures that photo because her mother adored him just as much as she did. If she knew I did all this on the Price is Right, my Grandmothwould roll over and laugh in her grave.
6 months should be enough time to live this down, right?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Once I get those wings in me.....
I get all antsy in my pantsy. My co-teacher told me today that they have a saying about wings in Korea. She told me that if you eat chicken wings you can become a playboy (or playgirl) with wings so you can fly around visiting your other girlfriends (or boyfriends) freely. But everyone wants to be a playboy. So, if there are wings on the table, they are prohibited to eat. Because if you eat them, others will be jealous of you. That's the Korean chicken wings taboo. However, for me, hot wings apparently get me fired up! WOO!...
It was the last Wings Night with Ron. I was having my fair share of wings and beer. And I was trying to keep my mouth shut for fear of what might come out. When we lost track of time, we missed the last train back to Bupyeong. So, we had to settle for Guro. When we arrived at Guro, all of the taxi drivers were trying to take advantage of us. Guro isn't that much further from Bupyeong than Bucheon is from Bupyeong. It's 15k max to Bupyeong from Bucheon. When we came out of the ticket gate at Guro, the taxi drivers were waiting like rats.
'I can take you where you want to go,' says one cabby in Korean. 'Where are you going?' says another.
'Bupyeong-yuk ulmayo (how much)?' I declare.
'50,000.' He jockeys.
'....5,000...wait, 50,000!? NO WAY.' Drake, John, and I exclaim. 'Let's look for another driver.' We spent a minute searching always getting an overpriced result, when a young driver approached us. 'Where are you going?'
'Bupyeong-yuk.'
'40000.'
'No. 25,000.'
'Enter some other ungodly sum.'
'Absolutely not.' I start walking toward the other bank of cabs, when he follows next to me. Where is he going? John suggests that he is going to tell the other cab drivers my price and tell them not to take us. I look at him to renegotiate, 'Ok. Bucheon-yuk ulmayo? Bucheon-yuk?' And he looks over at me and says, 'Talk,' while making a 'you're talking too much' hand gesture. You know the one. It looks like you are making a shadow puppet duck. 'Quack, quack.' Well, I didn't appreciate that very much. More importantly, my mouth was working without much thought behind it. Consequently, I let out a, 'Fuck you' in English. When he didn't seem to get that I issued a 'Fuck you' in Korean.
'Fuck you?' he replies. Oh, so now you understand what I'm saying. Nice-uh.
Needless to say, we didn't even stop to ask these taxi cab drivers their price. I am an easy target to spot, too, in my red North Face jacket. It's not hard to blackball the loan tall white guy in a red jacket on a late Tuesday night. We kept on walking after that idiotic display. Once Drake and John had done their business near a busy intersection, we flagged down a cab driver. 'Drake, you talk to him this time,' I suggest. Drake talks him into giving us the metered price on the ride back. The metered cab ride costs about 20,000. It's not the original dollar fifty it would have cost us if we had caught the train all the way back on time. But it's half of what those cabbies tried to milk us for. At least my first time to Guro was an exciting one. I always wondered what it was like around there. Now, I know that it's a cab infested rat hole. Next time, just keep walking.
Notes:
.
Good thing I didn't ask him, 'Do you really want to fucking die?' Yeah, my vocab is vast. ...
It was the last Wings Night with Ron. I was having my fair share of wings and beer. And I was trying to keep my mouth shut for fear of what might come out. When we lost track of time, we missed the last train back to Bupyeong. So, we had to settle for Guro. When we arrived at Guro, all of the taxi drivers were trying to take advantage of us. Guro isn't that much further from Bupyeong than Bucheon is from Bupyeong. It's 15k max to Bupyeong from Bucheon. When we came out of the ticket gate at Guro, the taxi drivers were waiting like rats.
'I can take you where you want to go,' says one cabby in Korean. 'Where are you going?' says another.
'Bupyeong-yuk ulmayo (how much)?' I declare.
'50,000.' He jockeys.
'....5,000...wait, 50,000!? NO WAY.' Drake, John, and I exclaim. 'Let's look for another driver.' We spent a minute searching always getting an overpriced result, when a young driver approached us. 'Where are you going?'
'Bupyeong-yuk.'
'40000.'
'No. 25,000.'
'Enter some other ungodly sum.'
'Absolutely not.' I start walking toward the other bank of cabs, when he follows next to me. Where is he going? John suggests that he is going to tell the other cab drivers my price and tell them not to take us. I look at him to renegotiate, 'Ok. Bucheon-yuk ulmayo? Bucheon-yuk?' And he looks over at me and says, 'Talk,' while making a 'you're talking too much' hand gesture. You know the one. It looks like you are making a shadow puppet duck. 'Quack, quack.' Well, I didn't appreciate that very much. More importantly, my mouth was working without much thought behind it. Consequently, I let out a, 'Fuck you' in English. When he didn't seem to get that I issued a 'Fuck you' in Korean.
'Fuck you?' he replies. Oh, so now you understand what I'm saying. Nice-uh.
Needless to say, we didn't even stop to ask these taxi cab drivers their price. I am an easy target to spot, too, in my red North Face jacket. It's not hard to blackball the loan tall white guy in a red jacket on a late Tuesday night. We kept on walking after that idiotic display. Once Drake and John had done their business near a busy intersection, we flagged down a cab driver. 'Drake, you talk to him this time,' I suggest. Drake talks him into giving us the metered price on the ride back. The metered cab ride costs about 20,000. It's not the original dollar fifty it would have cost us if we had caught the train all the way back on time. But it's half of what those cabbies tried to milk us for. At least my first time to Guro was an exciting one. I always wondered what it was like around there. Now, I know that it's a cab infested rat hole. Next time, just keep walking.
Notes:
.
Good thing I didn't ask him, 'Do you really want to fucking die?' Yeah, my vocab is vast. ...
Monday, February 15, 2010
Most Beautiful Place on Earth...9 days of the year.
I wanted to spotlight this photo by our family friend Andrew Gurohoff. This is what I miss about Seattle.
NOW, THAT is a beautiful skyline
I miss those mountains. When I used to drive to work during the cool mornings, I could see the Cascades off in the distance. They would always bring a serene smile to my face.
Stay classy, Seattle.
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
It was a pretty busy weekend. I found myself on the other side of Seoul. I have a lot more bad pictures than good pictures. And I have a few more short stories for the Pub. But let's talk about food.
We strolled over to Itaewon, where I ate a burger so big that in it's online description it's noted to be, 'as big as a baby's head.' It lived up to all it was cracked up to be. Absolutely delicious.
Later that night we downed some glorious German beers in Gangnam. This brew haus has all you can drink German brew for 12,000 won. It's available Sunday through Wednesday. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday.
The next morning we were introduced to 'Butterfinger,' an American style pancake house. There weren't any Butterfingers there, sadly. On the other hand it's hard to describe how delicious the food really was. So, I drew this....
We strolled over to Itaewon, where I ate a burger so big that in it's online description it's noted to be, 'as big as a baby's head.' It lived up to all it was cracked up to be. Absolutely delicious.
Later that night we downed some glorious German beers in Gangnam. This brew haus has all you can drink German brew for 12,000 won. It's available Sunday through Wednesday. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday.
The next morning we were introduced to 'Butterfinger,' an American style pancake house. There weren't any Butterfingers there, sadly. On the other hand it's hard to describe how delicious the food really was. So, I drew this....
Just like Picasso would have done.
I was floored by how good this breakfast was. The amount of food on the plate was staggering. And it was all amazing even the pancakes. I don't even like pancakes that much. But these cakes are dream worthy. I could churn butter to put on top of these. The almost cinnamonny taste with a slightly crispy outside and fluffy inside can make a man lose himself. And the bacon, sausage, seasoned potatoes and french toast.....wow. I think the Microsoft Paint Painting says it all. I'm smitten. Thanks again, Mike.
Notes:
More to come in the next few days once I can get my stories straight from the past week or so. I lost focus after these staggeringly good meals. And this may not change since today is TUESDAY aka Wing's night.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The New Look
As you can tell I switched up the look of the blog. I wanted a more academic feel but . So, I changed the background to match the color of book page or a Goonies treasure map. Where can I find one eyed Willy........... ................ ................. ..................
I like the new color pattern. I think the colors mesh well together. This isn't the hackneyed black and white blog anymore. More importantly, it's easy on the eyes. I know you don't want to read my blog when the background is Hellatious Red and the text is yellow. I think this is a good fit. Tell me what you think.
As you can see, I, also, added my twitter feed to the blog. You can find A Spit of My Twit to the upper right of the blog post. Since I am always asking you to subscribe to my blog, you know I want you to follow me on Twitter (spotofgold). I am a sucker for attention. So, follow my Twitter or I will claim your first born as my own....
Anyway, I will be doing a bit more updates to the blog. Lately, I haven't had the time or rather the energy to focus on doing what I have planned for the Annual Celebration for this blog. You should expect a surprise by the end of the month. Let's just say, I want this failure out of the way now in case this ever comes up when:
A) I get married.
B) I run for political office.
C) I return to the U.S. for good.
A and C seem more likely than B right now. If A happens in Korea, then I could probably tell her and she wouldn't know or care about this. Maybe that's good reason to find a wife here. Apparently, A will never be much of a problem for me. Because according to one of my friend's girlfriends all I do during the day, when no one is home, is sit at home and touch myself. A LOT.
When I think about my quick trip home in March, Maybe I should wait until after I return in March to post this.............
Notes:
Migs, I don't know what made me think of that but I had a good laugh. Hopefully, you can collect some more wonderful comments from her for me.
By the way that was the first picture that came up when I googled 'your first born.' That is disturbing to me. Because I don't understand the 'connection.' AHHHHAAAAAH!! ok, that was bad.
I like the new color pattern. I think the colors mesh well together. This isn't the hackneyed black and white blog anymore. More importantly, it's easy on the eyes. I know you don't want to read my blog when the background is Hellatious Red and the text is yellow. I think this is a good fit. Tell me what you think.
As you can see, I, also, added my twitter feed to the blog. You can find A Spit of My Twit to the upper right of the blog post. Since I am always asking you to subscribe to my blog, you know I want you to follow me on Twitter (spotofgold). I am a sucker for attention. So, follow my Twitter or I will claim your first born as my own....
If you are like the poor man's Jim from the Office and outlet Gwenyth Paltrow
and this is how you plan to make your first born,
then you can keep him.
Anyway, I will be doing a bit more updates to the blog. Lately, I haven't had the time or rather the energy to focus on doing what I have planned for the Annual Celebration for this blog. You should expect a surprise by the end of the month. Let's just say, I want this failure out of the way now in case this ever comes up when:
A) I get married.
B) I run for political office.
C) I return to the U.S. for good.
A and C seem more likely than B right now. If A happens in Korea, then I could probably tell her and she wouldn't know or care about this. Maybe that's good reason to find a wife here. Apparently, A will never be much of a problem for me. Because according to one of my friend's girlfriends all I do during the day, when no one is home, is sit at home and touch myself. A LOT.
When I think about my quick trip home in March, Maybe I should wait until after I return in March to post this.............
Notes:
Migs, I don't know what made me think of that but I had a good laugh. Hopefully, you can collect some more wonderful comments from her for me.
By the way that was the first picture that came up when I googled 'your first born.' That is disturbing to me. Because I don't understand the 'connection.' AHHHHAAAAAH!! ok, that was bad.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
TOP 5 most shocking moments in 2010....so far.
I think the most shocking moment of 2010 has been the Hatian Earthquake Disaster. But this Top 5 isn't about the most shocking International and significant life-changing moments of 2010. It's about the strangest, most amusing, most shocking things that I've seen in Korea since the turn of the calendar.
Number 5!
Ryan, not a big time partier, draws a mustache on his face in 2009. Then wisely slows his drinking role in 2010.
Women's only parking. Yes, I know I mentioned this in my last post. But this was shocking to me when my teacher pointed it out.
Look, this is unheard of in the U.S. I know we have handicap parking but women's parking? I'm not sure what this says about women driving in Korea. I mean the American stereotypes are that the elderly, Asians and women are bad drivers. And old, Asian women are the worst. So, what does that say if in an Asian country they have 'women only' parking sections? Maybe it says, chivalry. Women should be the closest to the door like the handicap. Except this was on the 2nd floor of the parking garage not the 1st. And it was a sizeable section not just two stalls marked with a person in a wheelchair. Here's the better question, how bad must Korean female drivers be if Asian men sectioned off an area of the parking garage just for them to park?
Number 3
WTF SNOW?!
The storm we had back on January 4th was the biggest snow storm they had in Korea for 103 years. It was nothing compared to the East Coast right now. But it was the storm of a century here. With it snowing heavily again today (but not sticking to the main streets) it reminds me how much my teachers and my Korean students are shocked about the snowfall. My teachers blame me for bringing this weather. I brought Seattle's 2008-2009 winter to Korea. And my students could not write their first vacation diary entry about anything other than the January 4th snowstorm and the early onset of vacation thanks to it. At least it's a nice fresh white outside my window (at least until I look down at the brown slushy streets) on this wonderful graduation day in Korea.
Number 2
I actually missed Seattle's rain. I didn't think it could happen. But I miss the clean air that the rain brings. I miss the rain cleaned streets and green lanscape. Where was my foresight on this one?
Notes:
I have been correctly some 500 diaries this week. Thank God that is over.
And as I mentioned in passing earlier it is graduation day today. There are A LOT of tears flowing today. I really can't stand to watch other people cry. That is my kryptonite. Next to chicken wings, of course...
On a very sad note, one of my heroes passed away today. Charlie Wilson, you are a model for me to follow. I toast my next whiskey to you.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/10/AR2010021003848.html?hpid=topnews
Here's to you Charlie Wilson. You were a model in the most unorthodox ways on the most serious stage.
Number 5!
Ryan, not a big time partier, draws a mustache on his face in 2009. Then wisely slows his drinking role in 2010.
Only if we could bury the 9 behind us.
Get your thizz face on, Cap'n.
A more shocking revelation happened on the roof of G7 after I left that night. It didn't involve Ryan or me. Get me drunk and I'll tell you a tale, I say!
Number 4
Look, this is unheard of in the U.S. I know we have handicap parking but women's parking? I'm not sure what this says about women driving in Korea. I mean the American stereotypes are that the elderly, Asians and women are bad drivers. And old, Asian women are the worst. So, what does that say if in an Asian country they have 'women only' parking sections? Maybe it says, chivalry. Women should be the closest to the door like the handicap. Except this was on the 2nd floor of the parking garage not the 1st. And it was a sizeable section not just two stalls marked with a person in a wheelchair. Here's the better question, how bad must Korean female drivers be if Asian men sectioned off an area of the parking garage just for them to park?
Number 3
WTF SNOW?!
The storm we had back on January 4th was the biggest snow storm they had in Korea for 103 years. It was nothing compared to the East Coast right now. But it was the storm of a century here. With it snowing heavily again today (but not sticking to the main streets) it reminds me how much my teachers and my Korean students are shocked about the snowfall. My teachers blame me for bringing this weather. I brought Seattle's 2008-2009 winter to Korea. And my students could not write their first vacation diary entry about anything other than the January 4th snowstorm and the early onset of vacation thanks to it. At least it's a nice fresh white outside my window (at least until I look down at the brown slushy streets) on this wonderful graduation day in Korea.
Number 2
I actually missed Seattle's rain. I didn't think it could happen. But I miss the clean air that the rain brings. I miss the rain cleaned streets and green lanscape. Where was my foresight on this one?
Spoil me with your gloomy clouds and rain fresh air.
Do they make a 'Seattle' air freshner?
Number 1
The number 1 most shocking thing is.....
The SAINTS winning the SUPER BOWL and I get food poisoning. This was basically one event tied together. My consistent Peyton Manning style belly does not throw up. It is the formidable center of my body. It runs my body, aka my team, better than my brain/coach does. How could this illness happen two years in a row?! Maybe, I am putting too much pressure on Peyton....I mean my stomach. Sometimes the overhyped team, or chicken wings, win out against the favored opponent with Laser Rocket Stomach Acid. But I don't think anyone in that room was rooting for the chicken wing to make me sick.
Ugh.....I hope I don't puke on Jeff Saturday's back.
I have been correctly some 500 diaries this week. Thank God that is over.
And as I mentioned in passing earlier it is graduation day today. There are A LOT of tears flowing today. I really can't stand to watch other people cry. That is my kryptonite. Next to chicken wings, of course...
On a very sad note, one of my heroes passed away today. Charlie Wilson, you are a model for me to follow. I toast my next whiskey to you.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/10/AR2010021003848.html?hpid=topnews
Here's to you Charlie Wilson. You were a model in the most unorthodox ways on the most serious stage.
Tucker Max....wait....what?
My newest co-teacher, who I had previously met back in September, recently rejoined the school after a hiatus in San Jose, California (she expected the 3rd largest city in California to be a bit more......interesting). Coincidentally, not only is she my ninth co-teacher during my tenure but her last name is the Korean number for 9, Gu. But this oddity is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this mother of 2.
Today, Ms. Gu came in with her new reading material. Low and behold what does she pull from her Coach bag, TUCKER MAX'S I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL. Wow. For those of you who do not know Tucker Max's work (like my Mother) you are probably better off not knowing at all. This isn't to say I didn't enjoy his books when I read them during college or even today. I'm saying that, when my co-teacher's asked me for a list of books to read back in September, this book instantly came to mind. And it was simultaneously placed on the DO NOT READ list. This isn't THE book when you want to garner respect that you show to your co-workers, who teeter between the notion of Americans being arrogant and Americans being flat out assholes. You might as well have givem them a demon worshipers guide to ritual sacrifice and said, 'Hey, I'm Christian. But this is one HELLuva read.' So, to my dismay Ms. Gu walks in and pulls out the drunken American playboys guide to complete belligerence and debauchery.
What do I do? I start laughing. I couldn't pull myself to ask her any questions about it until she treated all of us to dinner later that night.
'Who told you about that book? How did you find out about it?'
'My last native teacher told me about it. He told me that when he read it, he had me in mind.'
......That lodged so many questions into my head that I had to pause for a second.. 'Huh? Umm.......Wh....Why..would he have you in mind....? Nevermind.'
'I don't know.....Do you know what S.A.D. is?'
'Sad?.....' She's lost me.
'You know, Seasonal...Aff---'
'Ah, yeah. I know, I know.'
'Ooooohoo.....what's that?' inquires my naive co-teacher Ms. Yoo, who has been sitting here trying to absorb what were are talking about.
'It's when winter and gloomy weather cause you to feel depressed.' I reply to her. 'Here, check it in your husband (her English-Korean electronic dictionary).' Back to the conversation at hand, 'What does S.A.D. have to do with Tucker Max?'
'He was teaching us one day in class and he brought up S.A.D. I instantly thought STD. My English listening ability wasn't that good back then. Before he could explain what it was I was explaining to the class what an STD was in Korean. They were all laughing loudly.'
'Ohhhhhooo....STD, what's that?' Ms. Yoo inquires innocently. Ms. Gu explains what it is in Korean before she can look it up. 'Oh!'
I couldn't help but laugh. It was all too funny. At that time we returned to the Women's only parking section of the garage. Yes, you read that right. WOMEN'S ONLY PARKING. Believe that. But that is a topic for another day. For now I am curious how her finishing this book will make things more interesting in my office. Don't let me down, Tucker Max! Spice things up as usual!
Mom, never read this book. Go to your grave pure. Dad that goes for you, too. That's all I ask. If you read it, you will burn it. And it will be like Fahrenheit 451 actualized.
Tomorrow: Technology, you make me wanna get slapped in the face.
Today, Ms. Gu came in with her new reading material. Low and behold what does she pull from her Coach bag, TUCKER MAX'S I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL. Wow. For those of you who do not know Tucker Max's work (like my Mother) you are probably better off not knowing at all. This isn't to say I didn't enjoy his books when I read them during college or even today. I'm saying that, when my co-teacher's asked me for a list of books to read back in September, this book instantly came to mind. And it was simultaneously placed on the DO NOT READ list. This isn't THE book when you want to garner respect that you show to your co-workers, who teeter between the notion of Americans being arrogant and Americans being flat out assholes. You might as well have givem them a demon worshipers guide to ritual sacrifice and said, 'Hey, I'm Christian. But this is one HELLuva read.' So, to my dismay Ms. Gu walks in and pulls out the drunken American playboys guide to complete belligerence and debauchery.
What do I do? I start laughing. I couldn't pull myself to ask her any questions about it until she treated all of us to dinner later that night.
'Who told you about that book? How did you find out about it?'
'My last native teacher told me about it. He told me that when he read it, he had me in mind.'
......That lodged so many questions into my head that I had to pause for a second.. 'Huh? Umm.......Wh....Why..would he have you in mind....? Nevermind.'
'I don't know.....Do you know what S.A.D. is?'
'Sad?.....' She's lost me.
'You know, Seasonal...Aff---'
'Ah, yeah. I know, I know.'
'Ooooohoo.....what's that?' inquires my naive co-teacher Ms. Yoo, who has been sitting here trying to absorb what were are talking about.
'It's when winter and gloomy weather cause you to feel depressed.' I reply to her. 'Here, check it in your husband (her English-Korean electronic dictionary).' Back to the conversation at hand, 'What does S.A.D. have to do with Tucker Max?'
'He was teaching us one day in class and he brought up S.A.D. I instantly thought STD. My English listening ability wasn't that good back then. Before he could explain what it was I was explaining to the class what an STD was in Korean. They were all laughing loudly.'
'Ohhhhhooo....STD, what's that?' Ms. Yoo inquires innocently. Ms. Gu explains what it is in Korean before she can look it up. 'Oh!'
I couldn't help but laugh. It was all too funny. At that time we returned to the Women's only parking section of the garage. Yes, you read that right. WOMEN'S ONLY PARKING. Believe that. But that is a topic for another day. For now I am curious how her finishing this book will make things more interesting in my office. Don't let me down, Tucker Max! Spice things up as usual!
Mom, never read this book. Go to your grave pure. Dad that goes for you, too. That's all I ask. If you read it, you will burn it. And it will be like Fahrenheit 451 actualized.
Tomorrow: Technology, you make me wanna get slapped in the face.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
SUPERBOWL
36
It's been an interesting two weeks. Unfortunately, the most interesting things that have happened were not positive things. The positive things seem to be overshadowed right now. And, they aren't as funny. So, let's start with the bad news first.
The Super Bowl was great though, huh?! Drake set up a Super Bowl party to watch the game after work Monday. With the help of Jeremy, the New Orleans boy, we were able to secure a good place to watch the game. (Thanks Big Rad Brad!!!) I recorded the game and brought my T.V. over to the apartment so that we could watch a recorded version of the game.
As a group we made an agreement not to check the score. That way the game would so much more exciting to watch. That meant we couldn't check ESPN, Yahoo, or Facebook all day. I had to stay off the internet all day. I know what you're thinking, IMPOSSIBLE! How could you stay off the internet one whole day? Is this the same guy who has internet on his phone and a tiny, mobile laptop so that he can check the internet from inside a nuclear fallout shelter if need be? Yup. Same guy. That's why I am just as shocked as you when I say that I didn't check the internet the entire day. And, honestly, it felt good! I need to make the internet less of a part in my life. Because I was stoked for the SUPERBOWL! Unfortunately, not everyone could adhere to the promise.
A few people at the party stumbled across the score while they were online during the day. Where is your willpower?! Anyway, one guy did a great job of playing neutral party for the first 3 and a half quarters. He didn't pick a team to root for and he didn't give away who the winner was even though he already knew. After that New Orleans pick 6 with about 3 minutes left in the fourth quarter, he gave it away...
'Jeremy, you should be worried. Peyton is still on the field with the ball in his hands. He is going to march down this field like it's a Mardi Gras parade,' I jeered.
'No. No way are they coming back. It's over. THE SAINTS ARE GOING TO WIN,' exclaimed the guy who knew the score in a serious, end binding sentence.
Are you fucking serious!?!!
....Ok, ok. Omit the last sentence of his statement. But he might as well have said it. Because he didn't say a word after I called him out on that.
WHAT THE FUCK?! How could you ruin the last 3 minutes of the game for me? The last 5 mintues are the most interesting part of any game. And you chose now to tell me who wins?! That took the wind right out of my 'Peyton Manning rooting' sails. At that point I had no interest in watching the last 3 minutes of the game. I was disgusted. I couldn't even eat the hot wings we had at that point. I had a strange aching feeling in my stomach.....
When I woke up an hour and a half after I went to sleep, I was attempting to hold back vomit. You know the feeling. It feels like a fist in your esophagus and two thin fingers are reaching up to your throat depressing that little lip below your tonsils at the back of your month. I spent the next four hours from 2am to 6am trying to choke that fist back down. Eventually, I caved.
'Here's my two fingers. Now, let yourself go! Be free! And free me!' Unfortunately, freedom was far beyond my grasp. Food poisoning had me well within its grip. I called my co-teacher and came in late to work around 10:30am.
I feel a lot better today. Although I am still a bit weak, I am glad to be out and about instead of stuck in my tomb of an apartment. Though I could have used some Pepto Bismol.
I wasn't the only one stung by these Kyochun chicken wings. Drake came down with the same bout of food poisoning that I had. Only he had it 12 hours later than I did. He did share the same night time symptoms that I had. I think we both learned our lesson. NEVER EAT CHICKEN WINGS IN KOREA EXCEPT FROM THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN TAVERN. Lesson learned. See you next Tuesday, RMT!
Tomorrow: My take on, 'Serious Conversations and Technology: Email, Text Messages and Facebook'
or
Maybe, some lighthearted things. Naw, I'm all emo, now.
It's been an interesting two weeks. Unfortunately, the most interesting things that have happened were not positive things. The positive things seem to be overshadowed right now. And, they aren't as funny. So, let's start with the bad news first.
The Super Bowl was great though, huh?! Drake set up a Super Bowl party to watch the game after work Monday. With the help of Jeremy, the New Orleans boy, we were able to secure a good place to watch the game. (Thanks Big Rad Brad!!!) I recorded the game and brought my T.V. over to the apartment so that we could watch a recorded version of the game.
As a group we made an agreement not to check the score. That way the game would so much more exciting to watch. That meant we couldn't check ESPN, Yahoo, or Facebook all day. I had to stay off the internet all day. I know what you're thinking, IMPOSSIBLE! How could you stay off the internet one whole day? Is this the same guy who has internet on his phone and a tiny, mobile laptop so that he can check the internet from inside a nuclear fallout shelter if need be? Yup. Same guy. That's why I am just as shocked as you when I say that I didn't check the internet the entire day. And, honestly, it felt good! I need to make the internet less of a part in my life. Because I was stoked for the SUPERBOWL! Unfortunately, not everyone could adhere to the promise.
A few people at the party stumbled across the score while they were online during the day. Where is your willpower?! Anyway, one guy did a great job of playing neutral party for the first 3 and a half quarters. He didn't pick a team to root for and he didn't give away who the winner was even though he already knew. After that New Orleans pick 6 with about 3 minutes left in the fourth quarter, he gave it away...
'Jeremy, you should be worried. Peyton is still on the field with the ball in his hands. He is going to march down this field like it's a Mardi Gras parade,' I jeered.
'No. No way are they coming back. It's over. THE SAINTS ARE GOING TO WIN,' exclaimed the guy who knew the score in a serious, end binding sentence.
Are you fucking serious!?!!
....Ok, ok. Omit the last sentence of his statement. But he might as well have said it. Because he didn't say a word after I called him out on that.
WHAT THE FUCK?! How could you ruin the last 3 minutes of the game for me? The last 5 mintues are the most interesting part of any game. And you chose now to tell me who wins?! That took the wind right out of my 'Peyton Manning rooting' sails. At that point I had no interest in watching the last 3 minutes of the game. I was disgusted. I couldn't even eat the hot wings we had at that point. I had a strange aching feeling in my stomach.....
When I woke up an hour and a half after I went to sleep, I was attempting to hold back vomit. You know the feeling. It feels like a fist in your esophagus and two thin fingers are reaching up to your throat depressing that little lip below your tonsils at the back of your month. I spent the next four hours from 2am to 6am trying to choke that fist back down. Eventually, I caved.
'Here's my two fingers. Now, let yourself go! Be free! And free me!' Unfortunately, freedom was far beyond my grasp. Food poisoning had me well within its grip. I called my co-teacher and came in late to work around 10:30am.
I feel a lot better today. Although I am still a bit weak, I am glad to be out and about instead of stuck in my tomb of an apartment. Though I could have used some Pepto Bismol.
I wasn't the only one stung by these Kyochun chicken wings. Drake came down with the same bout of food poisoning that I had. Only he had it 12 hours later than I did. He did share the same night time symptoms that I had. I think we both learned our lesson. NEVER EAT CHICKEN WINGS IN KOREA EXCEPT FROM THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN TAVERN. Lesson learned. See you next Tuesday, RMT!
Tomorrow: My take on, 'Serious Conversations and Technology: Email, Text Messages and Facebook'
or
Maybe, some lighthearted things. Naw, I'm all emo, now.
Vommed. UGH
I have a few things that I wanted to mention in my blog. Until I am feeling better the post is going to be delayed. Woo....food poisoning....
Vomit count: 7 in 2 minutes. I know you love numbers and details.
Vomit count: 7 in 2 minutes. I know you love numbers and details.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Fantasy School Draft
39
I didn't have a lot of time this weekend to write what I wanted to on here. Fortunately, My friend and fellow teacher Jason Kamminga sent me a great email this week. To set this up for you, in Korean schools the students are ranked from 1 to last. As a student you always know what number you are. They will joke about it and rub it in at times. It's so competitive. These kids have so much pressure on them. They get better test schools in different subjects. Some of them have just downright awful average grades. But I had no idea that teachers actually sort students from class to class based on these numbers......
Email
February 3rd, 2010
I didn't have a lot of time this weekend to write what I wanted to on here. Fortunately, My friend and fellow teacher Jason Kamminga sent me a great email this week. To set this up for you, in Korean schools the students are ranked from 1 to last. As a student you always know what number you are. They will joke about it and rub it in at times. It's so competitive. These kids have so much pressure on them. They get better test schools in different subjects. Some of them have just downright awful average grades. But I had no idea that teachers actually sort students from class to class based on these numbers......
February 3rd, 2010
So my teachers are choosing students for next years classes, which starts in a couple weeks... I shit you not ,they got the BIG BOARD up on the black board like a draft. I was so excited. They told me they rank the students then take turns picking like the best kids, and then they distribute the "naughty boys and tom girls". I blurted out "do you do a snake draft!!" They had no idea. I haven't been this excited since my 4 free beers an a hot dog at the Chicago Fire game!! FANTASY KOREAN STUDENT LEAGUE.
So I was like shit! you guys should put in 100,000 won each, and which ever class gets the highest STANDARDIZED test score wins all the money!!! How cool would that be!! You could like swap kids, pick kids off waivers, feed other kids misinformation to bring down test scores of other teams! Or you could have weekly standardized test for weekly money winners, and then split the pot on a %70, %20, %10 for the final test. How motivated would you be as a teacher with this format. You would be keeping the kids 'til all hours of the night!
I also think they should draft like my league, which is get wasted on whiskey, and then pick kids. You would start gambling on sleeper picks that way!!! Can you imagine yelling at Sun-Jae Park, 'I fucking drafted you in the 7th round, and you are not producing!! You're going on waivers next week to the vocational school!!' Conversely, you picked Park Young Woo in the 25th round, but she's banging out high test scores in your English flex position, you might be able to swap her mid-season for someone with better Math or Science skill if you need them.
I think I just revolutionized Korean School right here and now... Oh yea, and as you can tell I'm not getting anything done today, because its male teacher dinner "get wasted" night, paid for by your local school system.
Jason Kamminga
Who wants in on the (BFSL) Buil Fantasy School League? I do!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Pick a New Template
43
In honor of the 1 year anniversary of 'A Spot of Gold' I am going to change the look of the blog. I would love to be able to create my own using HTML. Unfortunately, my HTML starts and ends with ...
So, I want some suggestions. What colors should the blog be? The background, font, header, etc.
What would you like to see more of? More photos? More polls? A new Top 5 or 10 every few weeks?
What would you like to see added to the blog?
I appreciate any feedback even from you anon's.
In honor of the 1 year anniversary of 'A Spot of Gold' I am going to change the look of the blog. I would love to be able to create my own using HTML. Unfortunately, my HTML starts and ends with
So, I want some suggestions. What colors should the blog be? The background, font, header, etc.
What would you like to see more of? More photos? More polls? A new Top 5 or 10 every few weeks?
What would you like to see added to the blog?
I appreciate any feedback even from you anon's.
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