Tucker Max....wait....what?

My newest co-teacher, who I had previously met back in September, recently rejoined the school after a hiatus in San Jose, California (she expected the 3rd largest city in California to be a bit more......interesting). Coincidentally, not only is she my ninth co-teacher during my tenure but her last name is the Korean number for 9, Gu. But this oddity is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this mother of 2.

Today, Ms. Gu came in with her new reading material. Low and behold what does she pull from her Coach bag, TUCKER MAX'S I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL. Wow. For those of you who do not know Tucker Max's work (like my Mother) you are probably better off not knowing at all. This isn't to say I didn't enjoy his books when I read them during college or even today. I'm saying that, when my co-teacher's asked me for a list of books to read back in September, this book instantly came to mind. And it was simultaneously placed on the DO NOT READ list. This isn't THE book when you want to garner respect that you show to your co-workers, who teeter between the notion of Americans being arrogant and Americans being flat out assholes. You might as well have givem them a demon worshipers guide to ritual sacrifice and said, 'Hey, I'm Christian. But this is one HELLuva read.' So, to my dismay Ms. Gu walks in and pulls out the drunken American playboys guide to complete belligerence and debauchery.

What do I do? I start laughing. I couldn't pull myself to ask her any questions about it until she treated all of us to dinner later that night.

'Who told you about that book? How did you find out about it?'

'My last native teacher told me about it. He told me that when he read it, he had me in mind.'

......That lodged so many questions into my head that I had to pause for a second.. 'Huh? Umm.......Wh....Why..would he have you in mind....? Nevermind.'

'I don't know.....Do you know what S.A.D. is?'

'Sad?.....' She's lost me.


'You know, Seasonal...Aff---'

'Ah, yeah. I know, I know.'

'Ooooohoo.....what's that?' inquires my naive co-teacher Ms. Yoo, who has been sitting here trying to absorb what were are talking about.

'It's when winter and gloomy weather cause you to feel depressed.' I reply to her. 'Here, check it in your husband (her English-Korean electronic dictionary).' Back to the conversation at hand, 'What does S.A.D. have to do with Tucker Max?'

'He was teaching us one day in class and he brought up S.A.D. I instantly thought STD. My English listening ability wasn't that good back then. Before he could explain what it was I was explaining to the class what an STD was in Korean. They were all laughing loudly.'

'Ohhhhhooo....STD, what's that?' Ms. Yoo inquires innocently. Ms. Gu explains what it is in Korean before she can look it up. 'Oh!'

I couldn't help but laugh. It was all too funny. At that time we returned to the Women's only parking section of the garage. Yes, you read that right. WOMEN'S ONLY PARKING. Believe that. But that is a topic for another day. For now I am curious how her finishing this book will make things more interesting in my office. Don't let me down, Tucker Max! Spice things up as usual!

Mom, never read this book. Go to your grave pure. Dad that goes for you, too. That's all I ask. If you read it, you will burn it. And it will be like Fahrenheit 451 actualized.

Tomorrow: Technology, you make me wanna get slapped in the face.