SEC, YOU'RE IN A TIGHT g-SPOT

SEC staffers watched porn as economy crashed


http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/04/23/sec.porn/index.html?hpt=T1

They were just, like, trying to do their part to save the Valley with a more 'hands on' approach! (Not 'Silicone Valley' but the other, possibly more silicone infused, valley in California.)

Pornography, Main Street To Wall Street.: An article from:Policy Review













It is true were all hormonally driven human beings most of the time. Especially whenever you're a click of a mouse away. ....Ever watch porn at work?

'Three Cups of Tea' Plug

I have had a little bit of writer's block lately. I just don't have anything amusing to say. But I just finished a good book and a better story, Three Cups of Tea. I strongly suggest you read this book. In fact I demand you read it.

For someone like myself, who prides himself on his general knowledge of world history and current events, this book was eye opening for me. I didn't know very much about what exactly has been going on inside Pakistan and Afghanistan over the past 20 years since the Cold War ended. Greg Mortenson's amazing travels in that part of the world have served as lesson for me. What's more impressive than his knowledge of the region is what he is doing to help it. He is facilitating the building of schools for the youth, particularly girls, of Afghanistan and Pakistan in order to improve the quality of life and promote peace one school at a time.

The book made me feel a little guilty. How could one American do all this, and here I am merely teaching English to Korean girls. Not to say I am not doing any good. I am saying, how is it possible that this strangely ordinary man has done so much to help others? What gives him the strength inside himself to do something like that? Could I do something like that? Do I have 'it' in me to be like him? Could anyone really be this good? Yes, they can. Sure, he has his flaws. They just aren't the vices that most of us carry.

Now, I don't want to give you the idea that this book will weigh you down with all these questions of inadequacy. I want to make it clear that this book will give you courage and belief. Belief in simple education and, I hate to say this because it's so cliche, the belief that one man can make a difference. Not in the traditional sense that one man can take on a whole army. But that one man can lead others together through rural community action with the prospect of good hope.

Like I said before, if you haven't read it already, please get your copy and do me favor by reading it.

You can find it via the Amazon link below or visit the Three Cups of Tea website directly
threecupsoftea.com
I'm sure by buying it at their website the proceeds will go to the Central Asia Institute (Greg Mortenson's Foundation). Take a look for yourself by visiting the website. 

CHANNELING MY INNER GAY MAN

I knew that would get your attention.


Let's get back to talking about teaching. For my next lesson I am going to teach the first graders, 'What are you wearing?' Being at an all girls middle school I feel like I have to find my feminist side. So, I'm channeling my inner gay man. When I was in high school, a lot of mothers used to tell me that I looked like Christopher Lowell, the interior decorator.....

This guy

As it turns out.....

He's gay.

Even though I have never understood how exactly I resemble him (I CAN'T EVEN GROW A MUSTACHE LET ALONE A BEARD!), I am trying to channel my Christopher Lowell to teach these girls words like 'Fashionable!' and 'That's Fab!' 

All I need now is a colorful shirt and a flamboyant personality. Good thing I have the Sesame Street T-shirt I brought from Seattle.....

60 days to the cup; Ode to a Collins

60 days until the World Cup! ENGLAND v. USA countdown!

With that said, Charlie Davies continues to defy the odds. http://goal.com/en-us/news/1614/americans-abroad/2010/04/09/1871123/sochaux-team-mate-jacques-faty-hails-charlie-davies-return

I cannot wait for his return. I pray he comes back full strength. If not, his recovery will still be nothing short of miraculous.

June is going to be an amazing month abroad. So is May. Why? Because the peninsula is about to be hit with a monster. One the size of which has never been seen before in Korea. Dunn dunnn dunnnnn

So, here's to an ode to a man so big it's an amazement him and his twin (yes, he has an equally large and intelligent twin brother) didn't punch their way out of their poor mother's womb like it was a paper bag:

 I get along great with Filipinos so why wouldn't it be the same with Koreans!?

  One time I ate a whole cow in one sitting. A WHOLE COW.

You pale in comparison to me, Justin! HA HA HA

Drink your Mike's Hard, little girl. 

(Dammit, I've never drink those things. How did I get caught red-handed!? I would've rather been caught with a Boone's Farm Fuzzy Navel bottle)

 I'm so big that I make trees look small.

I'm not even jumping.

My bags are packed, here I come, you tiny lilliputians.

These next four and a half months are going to fly by.


Notes:

You can follow him on twitter here twitter.com/charlieDavies9 


Dear James, 


      Sorry I equated your mother's womb to a paper bag. 


              Love, 
                  Justin

Student Jokes

My 2nd graders can be pretty amusing. For example, on April Fool's Day I received a snack box with a plastic bag full of crumpled wrappers and this note inside:

Props to you on your creative English, little girl. 

You're creative drawing could use some help though. That is a frightening face.

Anyway, you better believe I am going to get you back.

Any ideas?
I was thinking about the old 'take a look through these binoculars, eye black' trick.

Recently, two other second grade students have been playing a game during lunch called, 'Mission.' They build up the nerve to come talk to me by pacing around my office then playing a game of Kai Bai Bo. The loser has to walk up to me and say 'Mission' with a serious face. Then she says a phrase and the action that goes along with it.

'MISSION!' sounds like mention and mission combined.

I'm thinking, '...huh....what in the world did she just say?'


'Super...man....I'ma Superman...Ah...Supergirl.' And she extends her arms upward as if she is flying and flexing at the same time.

...'Ok.'

They both walk out of my office giggling profusely. Then the second one returns. She walks up next to my desk and states, 'MISSION!' 

I finally realize they mean mission, 'Ah....mission. You are on a mission, huh?'

She is unfazed by me, 'I'ma wonderwhoa-man.' She turns her head to the side like a profile and flexes her arms above her head as a sign of dominance. How about you try mimicking the Joker next.

Spring has Sprung!

Most people wait for a silly groundhog or the first flower to bloom to tell them spring has arrived. Personally, I just wait for this guy to show his face in public again.....

A pleasant surprise to me as I was walking up the stairs with my head down. But a not so pleasant surprise to the family of 3 ascending next to me with their young daughter held close to them. Poor unassuming family. Don't worry about Miichin guy! He is back to his old routine, where he cases my alleyway almost exactly at 8pm several times a week. He never steps on a sidewalk crack (he probably doesn't want his mom to break her back). And deliberately stops in the same locations every time. Where have you been hibernating?!
No matter. Because thanks to this, it's finally official. SPRING HAS SPRUNG!!!!

Take in a whiff of that Bupyeong pollution. Oh, yeah. Definitely spring. I can smell the sewers beginning to brew heartily again.

Halo the Bollywood Movie

More Videos at IGN.com

Wow.


The embedding might be cut off a little so here's the link just in case.
http://video.ign.com/dor/articles/960019/ign-originals-video/videos/halobolly_bts_spc_040110.html

4 reasons I know my body is as old as dirt

4) My back is so broken it could have been turned in for a down payment on a car during the 'Cash for Clunkers' campaign last year. What kind of person throws out their back twice before he turns 24? That's only because one of my lower vertebrae is finely cracked. When I don't take care of my back, that stress fracture has my back muscles spasming like electrically charged rippling jello. For those of you who don't know I actually have a big plastic backbrace, or more aptly titled modern, rigid girdle, that I have to strap into every now and again.


3) My ball and socket shoulder joints ache like I'm using the ball to grind ginseng in the socket. Worst of them is my left shoulder. It could probably be pulled from my shoulder socket like a drumstick off a cooked chicken. I will say this, it has gotten better than a few years ago. That was back when it would sublex from merely reaching to catch an errant softball throw. Back then I probably could have spit in my palm and thrown my arm out of its socket. At least my hips don't feel like they need replacing.

2) I was called a wise old man by several of my teachers the other day. I think something got lost in translation. That was until several of my kids started pointing out my moles and gray hairs. 'Teacher, you doot doot doot doot (pointing at their face then mine). You like-uh cow.' Thanks.


1) Because of it's prevalence right now, my heart takes the top spot. When the doctor tells you that you're fine but you need to stop exercising or your heart will hurt like a punching bag, then it's probably time to check into the local senior hot spot and wind down your life with bingo and dementia. Good thing I got my anti-inflammatory heart medication. I think I'll keep a spot open in my daily medicine holder for diabetes and Centrum Silver.

Runners up: My bum right hamstring always tweaking like it's on E, our Korean friend Hyun Gyu calling me Father all the time, I think I saw ear hair the other day (hah, no way), when I walk too many stairs my knees remind me that the need for a walker may be sooner than I think.

For those of you wondering 'what the fuck is wrong with you, old man', let me be the first to say it's not as serious as you think. I have been having some health problems off and on here. I have had trouble breathing at times and the left side of my chest has been hurting more and more consistently lately. The doctor diagnosed me and gave me a small amount of medication for the time being. I thought he was just going to give me a shot in the ass as is the common practice for almost any ailment out here (see Drake the Injection King. 2 different ailments, sinus problems and a deep cut on his foot, on 2 separate occasions same medical treatment, a shot to the ass). The medication is precautionary anti-inflammatory medication. I took some yesterday. It didn't seem to help. It's probably just a placebo made of kimchi. Kimchi cures H1N1, too, dontcha know?

 What's that little man? You say you have a headache. I've got just the cure. 

This is borderline child pornography. I'm just as shocked as you kid.

Anyway, the doctor, also, told me to take a prolonged rest. No, that doesn't mean I am taking time off from work. It means that I am not suppose to exercise strenuously. He told me to take it easy for a while. When I asked for how long, he told me not too get too worked up during the summer. The entire summer......? Well, fuck that. I am definitely playing basketball this Saturday. I am as stubborn as my father and brother are literally and figuratively thickheaded (my brother once flew full force into a windshield. The windshield was far more damaged than he was).

What surprises me more than the lack of a shot to the ass was how the doctor said nothing about my drinking. I told him that the pain often but not always follows days that I've been drinking. None of this deterred my hospital escort, Medicine Kim as I called him, from asking me to help him practice and teach him English over a few beers. The same goes for the tall, good looking Korean female nurse who jokingly yelled, 'Pinishee,' after my X-rays were taken. You best believe I will help you practice your English with a grin on my face, nurse. My plan for now is to stop drinking for a couple weeks and to rest up. Early nights and lots of water for now. Especially since, the pain in my chest has lessened but has not gone away in 3 days.

I'm not worried. After the doctor gave me the 'ok,' aka the you're fine get out of here so I can treat real patients, and Medicine Kim told me not to worry so much, I slept like a baby last night.

All in all the hospital trip wasn't too bad. By making an appointment, I retained Medicine Kim to escort me around. With him I bypassed almost all the lines. And I picked up a couple new Korean friends and some reassurance that I'm 'ok,' At least I escaped the hospital without an injection to my ass. As Medicine Kim said, 'I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU HERE AGAIN!'

You got it.




Notes:

I forgot to add this in earlier, but my BP was 155 over 95 when they checked it yesterday. That's pretty sad for me. I remember my last physical. I was between 100 to 120. Hm.

Back to it

After a short absence, I'm back to writing.

I'm not going to bore you with the details of my trip home. I'll just sum it up for you.

2 total days of traveling +
1 silly car accident 3 hours after landing +
2 husky wins +
lots of laughter and smiles + seeing my closest friends in Seattle + Pete and Molly's wedding + seeing my family and my two nieces altogether twice
= worth it

It was completely worth it. I am never going to forget that first night in Seattle. That was amazing after 24 hours of traveling. Even though I won't forget it, the whole trip seems like a dream. The jet lag has a lot to do with that. Most of all it felt like I never missed a step. Like it was deja vu. The same things were going on around me all over again. Like when Kev drove down the middle of the crowded lane directly into the big man only to get swatted like a grounded fly. Same ol' Kev the grounded bowling ball taking it in there 5 or 6 times a game making 2 or 3 and getting brutally obliterated on the remainder (Later in the game he did his usual 'piss off the defender until he fights me' moves. Secretly, I miss those. But I would never tell him to his face because I am always telling him to stop or 'HEY, KEV, DON'T GET INTO A FIGHT IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS!). A few things had changed though. But after a few stories and a few more laughs it was as if I had never left. Nonetheless, it all seems so surreal. 

Sneaky Kev receiving the inside pass

One of the 2 or 3 he squeaks past the defenders a game. SO SNEAKY! 

Photos courtesy of my father. Nice work Pops!

When I returned to Korea after the long flight and short trip, I felt more comfortable in Korea than ever. Korea is, now, like a second home to me. Because when I stepped off that long flight back I felt like I had arrived back at my apartment. It wasn't the same as stepping into my all too familiar house that I grew up in. But it was a lot like I had returned to my college apartment, the home where I hang my coat daily. I feel more confident and comfortable than I did before. My attitude has even changed. But maybe that's just because of the change in the weather and not the vacation. Either way, I love Korea even more now than I did when I left for Seattle. And that's a good feeling.

The trip brought a lot of good things my way. A lot of intangible things like a change in attitude. And quite a tangible things like smiles or should I say a smirk....

Thanks for the gift, Tim.

 What has two thumbs and loves Jeeg?! THIS GUY!

I did do a few weird things when I was home. Like try to hail a waitress using yo-gi-oh or order food by pointing or using one word only. I think I might have forgot to tip at one point...poor waitress. Sorry service industry.

The wedding was fantastic. I am so glad I made it back for that. Let me say congratulations to Molly and Pete. And THANK YOU for allowing me to share that day with you. I hope to see you living happily when I visit Northern California next year.

Cake to the Face Tradition

P.S. Molly and her mom made her dress. It was gorgeous, too. Impressive work.

Between Pete's family and her family they combine for a Fashionable pair. 

 I, also, learned at the wedding how many people read my blog. There are a lot of people who I met for the first time during the trip that said they follow me on here. Shout out to everyone, especially the Koreans like Grace, who follow me. I appreciate the words of encouragement. I hope I can continue to keep your interest! Hello to all my Mom's preschool teachers. I like how she showed me off to everyone like it was Show and Tell day and she brought in her new hamster to show to the class. But, seriously, teaching is tough! How do you do it year after year!!!

Then there was this little Dean Cain tearing up the dance floor. 

I was afraid to hit the dance floor after him. 

Instead I hid in a corner and took photos of my new found muse, Pete's nephew.

Please inspire me to be a better dancer, Child Dean Cain.

Even if I'm an awful dancer (I blame my 75% Caucasian ethnicity), I have a lot of good memories to remember and to look forward to when I return in September.

Thanks for the memories everyone. See you in a few. 

Ah, I almost forgot. HAPPY EASTER!!!!

I demand that you take your hands off me, you crazy looking bunny!