Chastity Belts Are In on a Whole New Level

25. My mother used to buy me video games to keep me away from girls in high school. After my sister had a child at 16, my mother was probably nervous about her 3 sons spreading their seed all willy nilly. Her best defense? Find her son's hobby and invest. It was like she was buying stock in my celibacy. It's a little disconcerting from my point of view. My social skills have been severely damaged.

 What's even more amazing is my mother confessed to this during my first year of college. She actually told me that she used to purchase games for me in order to keep me from going out and impregnating anything with a heartbeat (maybe she didn't word it just that way).

 VIDEO GAMES ARE AWESOME! 

WHO NEEDS FRIENDS AND PUSSY ANYWAY?!

   When it came to me, it was a wise move on her behalf. When it came to my brother, maybe not so much. His hobby wasn't video games. It was rockets, which became explosives which became fires in fields and blowing up homemade m-80s on a trail that sat over a major gas pipeline. He fit the child mold for serial killer profile.

   We were about as opposite as they came. I liked video games and sports. He liked operational science. I liked to shoot things up in Grand Theft Auto. He liked to throw explosives from moving vehicles in real life. Unfortunately for my mom, her investment led to his summoning of the ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms agency) to our house.

Daddy, I'm going to use Rex in the fireworks show.

It's going to be a real BLAST!

  Moms often do things like this. Maybe not for this exact reason. For example, Snoop Dogg's mother used to stay in on a night and buy her son 40's and listen to music with him. All of this in order to keep him from joining a gang. He's still gangsta though. Although like the rest of us he still hides from his girl, wife in his shed out back.