Dreams Fade

I really do miss Korea. It has certainly left it's impression on my life even though it all seems like a dream. What makes Korea so tangible to me is music. The memories and feelings that flood back into my mind whenever I hear certain albums that I listened to over those 12 months in Korea. The music ranges from the first Girltalk to Passion Pit to, yes, Justin Bieber. Those kids have Bieber fever! ('Teacher.....your name Justin......Justin Bieber?! ----- NO! --- Teacher Bieber!) Seriously, whenever I hear Passion Pit's Moth's Wings memories of walking through Bupyeong's crowded Underground Shopping Center enter my head. Memories of poorly translated t-shirts and acid wash jeans hanging from hangers and dodging wayward walkers. Memories of seeing my students walking together but still too scared to come say hi to me. Even the smells bad and good touch my palate. Every song brings back a new memory and enhances the other memories. Music brings me back to Incheon once more. There's nothing like it.

You could argue what makes Korea so tangible to me and some of you in Seattle is the people like Wildcat-Crab-Ian and Ryan whom I met in Korea and shared with the rest of you here. But they way they have transitioned into life here in Seattle makes it seem like they were here from the start. Everyone loves Ian...I mean Wildcat. Even though Wildcat is a self given nickname everyone likes him enough to call him that. Who would call themselves Wildcat anyway? Anyway, they have made the transition back into life back in the states together with me.

The transition has been tough. I still think of going back especially when the times get tough. That dream seems like a great idea. Part of me regrets leaving. The other part doesn't. The part that regrets leaving misses all my students, the good times, my friends left behind and my co-teachers even though the were upset with me for going. I did leave a little of my heart there. But when I lived there, my heart longed for home and friends. And I know if I went back to Korea the times there wouldn't be the same without friends like Tony, Ryan, Ian, and Drake. But that isn't what keeps me from going back. And to be honest it sometimes seems like the only real thing that keeps me from going back is convenience. I'm here. Why go? Simply put I made a promise to myself to return to explore and give life and learning a chance.

I can't leave just yet. I have only begun to settle back into my life here. Things are beginning to fall into place. My new job is starting to look up. I still have to explore my graduate school options. As my reverse culture shock is fading and the Holidays are smiling on me, the dream seems farther away. But I will always have those seemingly tangible memories that make the dream real.