jimjilbang

There isn't anything exciting report about this weekend because I have been sick since Friday afternoon. So, no trips to palaces or exciting places. Just me, my video games, some tea and my sickness. I'm not talking swine. It's not much of a sickness. It started off as chills, sleeplessness and a sore throat. Now, it's just a mean, nasty sore throat. Damn you throat! No one likes you anyway. You're just a middle man between my savory mouth and my satisfying stomach. And you make me choke (see DeokJeokDo).

On one note, I did go to the jimjilbang (bath house) last night. It turns out it's right next to my apartment. You can count on me going there more often. It was very refreshing and relaxing. Except for when the old, drunk Korean guy was blatantly checking me out in the shower RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Take a photo next time. Geez.

I have a few stories to report about jimjilbangs......

Let's start with another strange Korean health custom. They like to take tree logs, char them into charcoal and use them in bath houses like in the hottest water. It's like taking a bath in a pool of cigarette age. They call it a soot bath. They believe breathing in the soot from the char coaled wood has medicinal qualities. They should have been in WA in 1980 when MT ST Helens erupted. Not like I was even on this Earth at that time. From what I'm told everything was covered in ash that May. There are multiple baths. All different temperatures and sizes. And a steam room. All for 5000 won. It's worth it.

Here is my favorite story. To keep the identity and dignity of this person a safe I will not use his name. This is not a story for the weak of heart or stomach. So.... Let's live vicariously....

When you go into the jimjilbang you put your shoes in a box in the ante room. You grab the key from that box/ Then you take that key to the attendant to get another key of the same number for your locker. You cannot see into the lockers from the anteroom. So, whatever locker you choose you don't know who else might be around you.

Greg (pseudonym) put his shoes away, turned in his key and walked into his assigned locker area. There, in front of his locker, was a bare naked man FAST ASLEEP laying with his back on the ground and his feet spread up in the air against Greg's locker. Just his luck. Now, it didn't occur to Greg to return his key for another one. So, he worked with what he was given. He didn't want to wake the man. He maneuvered his feet off of his locker. Still the man did not wake up. He fully undressed next to the man. He opened his locker to put away his clothes. Greg had forgotten about the loose change in his pocket. As he put away his jeans all the loose change in his pocket fell out onto the man's body. The change fell all around the sleeping man's crotch like there was a magnet there. Perfect.

My first thought was, 'No....tell me you didn't. You have to forget it, it's small change!' But Greg couldn't leave it behind. He thought, 'Look! Some 100 pieces! And two 500 won coins! I can't leave that behind. That's a kimbap!'  Greg carefully pulled the coins off the sleeping man's body. The man never budged an inch. All I have to say is, 1000 won is a small price to pay for your dignity, Greg. Especially, when one of those 500 pieces is 3 inches from a sleeping man's testicles. (Sorry Mom, so is life)



Notes:

LAN PARTY!!!!!!!!

For those of you who are NERDS out there, we are planning a Starcraft LAN party for sometime this week or next. NERD ALERT NERD ALERT NERD ALERT! But I am not inviting any Koreans to play with us. It's in their genes to be dominant at Starcraft.
I remember my first online experience with Starcraft a decade ago. All the sudden a bunch of Korean Hangeul symbols pop up in the chat box. And before I knew what was happening Korean Fan Death had consumed me.

Ok, more on FAN DEATH later. This might be the most ridiculous old wives' tale ever. And they believe it whole heartedly. I just asked my co-teacher, 'What happens if you sleep with a small electronic fan on in a closed room?'
'NoOoOOoooo~! Bad! You die!'

Fan Death is real people :P

OH! I bought a new Kodak digital camera, yesterday, for 230,000 won. Not too shabby. You can expect more photos from here on.